Trailer Trashed (dg, WG, smoking, intox)

[syconerd]

Robyn H~
Personally, accents don't translate very well on paper and can easily come off as gimmicky if not, just hard to read. Even then, it's a bit hard to say, considering that accents are harder to come by in America. They could easily have no accent at all or, have a slight stereotypical "redneck" accent or "ghetto" accent. It is really tough to say.
That would be an interesting reversal. However I'm not sure how that would work out, and who knows how this will play out and if Taylor can leave this Wonderland. That would be interesting if we could see Taylor, by then known as Tay or something more derogatory, going back to New York as a complete slop and different person to show the effects that "real" America has on a person. That could sell hundreds.

[avocat27]

This story is set in Kansas, so the local accent would not be a major plot point. We Midwesterners like to think that we are the keepers of the flame for American English, and everybody else has a strange accent. Most trailer park stories are set in the South, which does have a distinctive accent. (Oddly enough I have never seen a trailer park story set in New England, which has a distinctive accent of its own.) However, since Taylor comes from the big city, she may wind up losing her Noo Yahk accent, though that hasn't really come up yet.

I have also seen elements of ideafactory's other work in this story, and I think " Closing the Gap" plot points could very well find their way in- but that's up to ideafactory, of course.

I have to say that I started my own trailer park story a while back, but never finished it. The story was about a young woman who - wait for it- got a fellowship to live for a time in a trailer park. Her purpose was - wait for it- to observe the quaint lifestyles of the residents. In my story, though, she was a grad student doing research. The main difference was that, in my story, she brought her boyfriend along with her. They both, of course, soon started getting changed by the experience. I may get motivated to finish my story, due to being inspired by this story.

[ideafactory]

Yep, there won’t really be an accent due to the region. I thought about having her home to a place that’s known for having more stereotypically American white trash folks but I’ve never spent long periods of time in the south or Appalachia. But I know Midwestern trash best so here we are. Unfortunately, certain hair and makeup choices would feel anachronistic for 2021, a part of me is kicking myself for not setting this in the hay day of Jerry Springer and trash tv.

Avocat- That’s funny, she was a grad student in my first outline! Then, she was an Americorps worker who was there to explicitly teach physical activity and nutrition courses. Journalist felt like the profession where she was most nakedly exploiting the trailer park for her personal gain. I’d love to read yours. The boyfriend addition is a great twist. I love when couples go through transformations, particularly when those transformations lead them in opposite directions.

[Robyn H]

Of course absolutely everyone has an accent. It would be impossible to speak without one. In the UK accents range from the strangled vowels of the senior royals (the queen and Charles for example) onto so-called received pronunciation (RP) common amongst the aspiring upper middle and the aristocracy until it rests with the regional accents most typified by the short and long 'a' and 'u' (eg 'grarss' for grass, or 'oop' - with the same 'oo' as in book for up) - but there are lots more varients - some almost unintelligible to non-locals in extreme examples (eg Glasgow or NE England Geordie). It's complicated.

To someone unfamiliar with the class ridden society we in the UK tolerate (albeit reluctantly) the subtleties of accent are perhaps lost. DH Lawrence was born and raised in the town of my birth and he tried to replicate the local accent in some of his novels - I find them difficult to read. So you're right, trying to express accent in fiction is difficult but dialect, less so. The choice of words or phrases can work to idicate how educated the speaker might be for example IMO.

Anyway, suffice to say I'm enjoying your story and, for me, that's all that matters

R

[syconerd]

Why not instead of them trading places, they become sisters or something? At least without going into typical transformation there is more opportunity to originality.
Robyn H.~ I realize that everyplace has there own accent/dialect, but here in the united states, the idea of every region having its own accent is sort of dying off or becoming less prominent. That's why sometimes, when going to other states, it is not uncommon to hear people not have an accent at all. I think what your referring to is more a dialect than an accent. But then again, they are sort of intertwined.

[syconerd]

but i guess it also just really depends where too, so

[Matt L.]

Exceptional well-done and enjoyable chapter.

Out in the boonies, bus schedules are few and far between, the entire bus ride scenario is realism at its finest because with the buses running infrequently, it would be a crowded ride.

The detail you put into the Garrett character seems accurate to his community, and Carleigh’s earnest endeavor in applying Taylor’s makeup is fabulous.

I hope I’m not reading more into the Carleigh character than what’s there but I sense she’s a nice young woman with a good heart, and while misled concerning Taylor’s true motivation behind moving into the trailer park, she truly believes she’s doing the right thing about helping Taylor.

There are some very good people who have made poor choices in their lives, and even though Carleigh’s behavior and personality might not jive with blue-blood types and despite living in poverty, I believe she’s completely genuine and thoughtful.

Outstanding story!

Cheers, Matt

[Robyn H]

[quote="syconerd
Robyn H. ... when going to other states, it is not uncommon to hear people not have an accent at all. I think what your referring to is more a dialect than an accent. [/quote]

But I bet if they came over here they'd find they had an American accent and be readily identified as coming from the USA (or perhaps Canada - we can't always differentiate )

R

[ideafactory]

Chapter 6

Taylor felt as though she were walking into another world as she passed through the cloud of second hand smoke lingering outside of the dive bar a short distance from the trailer park. A row of motorcycles parked outside the bar, followed by pickup trucks ranging from fresh off the lot to broken down beaters. As Taylor heard the country music blaring, she almost felt like she was entering some ironic Brooklyn tavern. But, nope, the music here was 100% genuine.

Taylor and Carleigh walked right to the bar.

“I’ll buy the first round,” yelled Taylor over the loud music.

“I’ll have a Jack and Coke. Make it a double! Since she’s buying,” yelled Carleigh to the bartender.

“And for you?” asked the bartender. Taylor paused, she didn’t want to look out of place by ordering some sort of drink that would seem too fancy for these folks.

“I’ll um… have the same,” yelled Taylor.

The bartender poured their drinks and Taylor was astonished by how cheap they were. You could get drunk here for the price of a single New York drink. Yet Carleigh had still insisted on pregaming at home to save money here at the bar. Wow, these people really were poor, Taylor said to herself.

Taylor and Carleigh took their drinks and sat down at a table with Carleigh’s friends from the salon.

“Taylor, this is Vicki and Stevie. Taylor is new in town so I thought she could join us tonight,” said Carleigh.

Taylor could tell Vicki and Stevie were coworkers of Carleigh’s. All three had the same overdone makeup and over the top dyed hair. Taylor could also tell that they ate a lot of lunches together. They were all overweight to some extent. Vicki, the youngest, looked to be right on the verge between regular sizes and plus-size clothing. Vicki’s hair was almost the most tasteful with it dyed a deep, dark black. Stevie, who was the oldest, was even fatter than Carleigh. Taylor guessed that she must have weighed north of 300 pounds, but she wasn’t sure as she rarely saw people that big in pedestrian heavy New York. Her bright red hair with dark roots made her stick out even more. Why do you need to feel the need to be even more noticeable when you are already fat, thought Taylor.

“Nice to meet you, Taylor,” said Vicki, “I love your makeup.”

Taylor smiled. She had felt self-conscious ever since Carleigh did Taylor’s makeup. In fact, Taylor had hated the makeup when she stared at the mirror. But here, sitting at a table with three other women made up the same way, it didn’t feel so bad. Wearing it felt like she almost belonged a little which was a powerful feeling considering she had just moved to a place that was so unfamiliar to her.

She planned to just slowly sip away at her very stiff cocktail. However, even while the three salon workers tried to include her in the conversation, they soon began talking about work and Taylor felt left out. She started to take bigger sips of her drink as she looked around the room. Two truckers were playing darts. The walls were littered with photos of local soldiers who were stationed in Afghanistan and Iraq. Why is this in a bar, Taylor wondered. Then there were posters for events that included the NASCAR racing schedule and, terrifyingly, a gun raffle that was being held at the bar in two weeks to pay for someone’s cancer treatment.

“Wonderful, giving drunks guns to support charity,” Taylor muttered under her breath.

“What was that?” asked Stevie.

“Um, does anyone want another round?” asked Taylor.

“Yeah, get us a pitcher of Bud,” said Stevie.

Carleigh through down a $10 bill.

“And shots!”

Taylor walked to the bar. As she waited, she watched as a middle-aged biker, bald and with skin like leather, felt up a woman who was, generously, no older than 21. She looked like she was out of it, most likely she was on something. Taylor was pretty sure that, whatever the drug, it had been supplied by the biker. The biker locked eyes with Taylor and she immediately felt a shudder go down her spine. She quickly grabbed the tray with the shots and the pitcher and returned to the safety of her new friends.

The four of them took down their shots and started talking about problems with their exes. Stevie’s ex-husband was several months late on child support. Vicki’s ex-boyfriend crashed her car while drunk. Carleigh’s ex-boyfriend started cheating on her when she gained some weight even though he was fatter than her for their entire relationship. Taylor tried to add something to the conversation.

“I had a man who never paid any attention to me, he was always at his… shop,” said Taylor. Shop sounded more like what these ladies would understand, as opposed to high-profile law firm.

“Oh, so he was cheating on you there,” said Vicki.

No, thought Taylor, he was trying too hard to make partner and wasn’t maintaining a good work-life balance.

“Uh, yeah,” Taylor lied, “Total cheater.”

“Smoke?” asked Carleigh.

“Let’s do it,” said Stevie as she slowly pulled up her large body to head outside.

“I’ll wait here,” smiled Taylor who preferred to avoid the cloud of smoke.

The salon ladies were only gone for a minute when Taylor felt someone sit down next to her.

“Back so…” said Taylor as she turned only to come face to face with the nasty looking biker she had seen across the bar earlier.

“Haven’t seen you here before. I remember the real pretty ones. Let me buy you a drink,” said the biker.

“No, that’s okay,” said Taylor.
“I insist. Anything you want, I’ve got it for you,” he said as Taylor felt his hand clasp onto her thigh.

“I was just going to go out for a cigarette,” said Taylor.

“What a coincidence. I’m going out for a smoke too,” said the biker.

Taylor got up and started walking out the door as the biker put his hand on the small of her back. She shivered.

As soon as they were outside, Taylor practically ran to Carleigh.

“Carleigh, can I borrow a smoke?” Taylor asked.

“But you don’t…” said Carleigh.

“Creepy guy, I’m trying to get away,” whispered Taylor.

Carleigh passed her a cigarette and Taylor stuck it in her mouth. Carleigh lit up the end as Taylor inhaled. Taylor hadn’t smoked a cigarette since she was 15 but she had smoked weed occasionally so she could inhale without coughing too much. Still, the acrid smoke of the cigarette tasted and smelled awful. Still, she was happy to have the support of others. She again felt accepted as she stood outside smoking with these women.

However, the biker was still there watching.

“If that asshole is still creeping on Taylor, maybe we should go,” said Vicki in a soft tone.

“Yeah, let’s hit up the truck stop,” said Stevie, “I could use something to eat.”

“Sounds good to me,” said Carleigh.

Taylor guessed that meant she was coming too because she wasn’t going to walk home alone without Carleigh.

Vicki drove them all to the truck stop, even though Taylor had seen her have multiple drinks and the truck stop was only a short distance from the bar. The truck stop was right off the interstate and had a 24 hour diner attached. The diner was run-down and everything was a rough shade of yellow. The walls were yellow, the floors had turned yellow by years of wear, even the lights gave everyone who entered a jaundiced yellow hue.

“You should come here tomorrow when they have the breakfast buffet,” said Stevie.

Taylor made a mental note to steer clear of the buffet. The waitress came up to bring them to their table. She immediately recognized Taylor.

“Oh, hi guys. Good to see you again, Taylor,” smiled Betty, Taylor’s immediate neighbor at the trailer park. And the only one who had figured out that Taylor was actually a journalist from New York. Still, Betty was keeping that close to her chest for now.

“You work here?” asked Taylor. Betty was wearing a damn uniform and a nametag. Of course, she worked here, thought Betty. Jesus, they let anyone with a fancy degree and the right connections get high-level jobs in New York. Betty said to herself that Taylor could never make it out here where things were tough.

“Yep, I’m one of the shift managers but that doesn’t mean I still don’t wait some tables,” said Betty.

Betty led them to a table, knowing that Stevie, a regular at the diner, wouldn’t fit in a booth. She was happy to see Taylor stumble a bit as they walked to the table. That girl is drunk again, she noted with pride.

The women each ordered coffee and Betty promptly brought it out to them. Taylor took a sip, it was bitter and brunt.

“The coffee here isn’t the greatest,” said Vicki, “Here, let me help.

Vicki poured in two sugars and some creamer and passed the coffee back to Taylor. She said thank you and agreed that it did make the coffee taste better. Taylor looked over the menu struggling to find something without meat in it.

“What are each of you getting?” asked Taylor.

“I’m getting breakfast,” said Carleigh, “Biscuits and gravy soak up the alcohol.”

Taylor looked at the breakfast page. The pancakes looked way too carby. The omelets looked like a better option but all of them had ham, bacon or chicken. Betty came back to their table.

“What can I get for y’all?” asked Betty.

She took the orders from the rest of the table before coming around to Taylor.

“I’ll have the south western omelette, with no ham,” said Taylor.

“That’s right, you are a vegetarian. I remember, sweetie,” said Betty, “I’ll be right back with these.”

Betty brought the orders up to the cook.

“For this omelet, add extra hashbrowns. Extra cheese. Extra butter. And the ham bits... cut them really, really fine,” said Betty with a devious smile.

After the meal was served, Taylor took the first bite of her omelet and had to admit that it was delicious. However, as she poked around the omelet, she noticed little pink bits.

“Excuse me, what are these?” asked Taylor.

“Oh, that’s just diced tomato,” said Betty.

Taylor wasn’t sure about what Betty said. But she was drunk enough to not have a full grasp on the situation. Plus, she didn’t want to make a big scene in front of these women who were not only providing good research but were providing her good company as well.

Taylor took another bite of the omelet, followed by a bite of the greasy hashbrowns. She cleaned her plate before Vicki dropped Carleigh and Taylor back off at the trailer park.

[Francescasugarlips]

I love the subtle acceptance and rationalizing that is going on in Taylor’s mind. The slow burn is fantastic, so the pacing doesn’t feel like it’s forced or dragging.