The Life Lizzie Deserves

[Luvchanges]

Week 90 - Jenny

I’m in love with Dave. I know he doesn’t have much money, but he is a real man, and I fulfill his needs. Last year, I was convinced my chance with a man was over, and I would be a fat single mom, forever doomed to a single life, without much more than occasional drunk guys fucking me and leaving. Dave is the real deal. Since he moved in, Dave has become very down on Liz, and he finds her annoying in almost every interaction. He is constantly telling me “your so-called friend, the fat, smokey whore Liz does not belong in our home." BTW - Dave proposed! We are getting married in a few months! So, I need Liz out asap. I do feel very guilty, but Dave is making it a “her or me” situation. Every time I peer down on my forearm, and see our “friendship tattoo”, that Liz paid for, and did it with the utmost wholesome intention. I did too at the time. Dave asked about it once, and I wisely didn’t really say who the tattoo was for. If he knew it was Liz, he’d want it removed or redone into something else immediately. I never fully understood why he hates her so much, but It may have something to do with his ego, and her rejecting him when they first met. My only issue with Liz, besides Dave’s feeling for here, is that Liz is broke and filed for bankruptcy, so no landlord is letting her rent on her own. I could vouch for her, loan her money, but I’m really trying to avoid all my financial connection to her, and besides, Dave would forbid it. Part of me thinks he’s like to see her homeless. She is unfortunately just a mess, and a girl like me doesn’t have enough going for her to risk the little I have. I like her, but she isn’t good for me. Since I decided to distance myself, and I met Dave, I lost 40lbs, almost quit smoking, and got a great job. Michael likes Liz, but he isn’t that attached to her either, at least, that is what I tell myself to feel better. Dave always jokes with me that he dodged a bullet with Liz, and said the luckiest moment of his life is when I came over after she dumped him in the bar for the douchebag sales guy. Obviously he did never get over her rejection. Anyway, he asked me for marriage, and I need to focus on what he likes, not his past or things that upset him. The few times I have upset him, I learned to never do that again. He has a temper, and he is very clear with me who is the boss of the household. That is taking a while to get used to since it was just my house, but once we get married, it is our house, but he has more say than me. He doesn’t appear to have much money, but hopefully he is just being cheap now in case he mistakenly thinks I could be a gold-digger.

Other good news is that Liz has been working full time at McDonalds for two months. She can walk there, so I find myself rarely giving her rides. When she does go places, she is with her friend Tessie. Fortunately Tessie has stepped in and allowed me to step out of Liz’s clingy friendship. I am a bit jealous because I would like to jon them, but Dave won’t let me. Tessie seems to like her, but she is actually going off to college soon. While I was asking Jane about apartments for Liz, Jane lit up with an idea. She could rent Tessie’s room, and she’d be thrilled to have Liz in her house. I was going to warn her, but then I realize I’d be kicking a gift horse in the mouth. I told Jane, “OMG, that is such a wonderful idea!” Jane told me, “it is perfect. With all the little ones, Liz can babysit, and I really will miss having an older daughter around to dote on, and have as company. You know, I like my different boyfriends, but I prefer female company more at home. I am not looking to ever get married again, or disrupt my life for a man. To me, men are there for my enjoyment when I feel like it.” Wow, I wish I was like Jane more, but unfortunately I need a man for much more. Dave is that for me.



Week 94 - Liz

This is a sad week for me. My best friend Tessie is moving off to college to complete her senior year in person. I am very happy for her, but I can’t stop crying. I am moving out of Jenny house, a few hundred feet away to Jane’s house. I will get Tessie’s bedroom, and Tessie will need to use the guest room when she comes home for visits. I was shocked when I saw the room. Jane is seriously handy. She repainted it and re-outfitted it will all new stuff, including a new bed, a medium refrigerator, and furniture. She made it thematic for unicorns, although that isn’t a theme I would have selected. She quickly said, “I thought you would love the pinks and purples, and unicorn theme.” I lied and said it was amazing - she smiled and hugged me. I looked around and noticed she stocked the fridge with soda, pudding, and dips, and ice cream in the very small freezer part. There was an armoire, but it served as a pantry stocked fully with chips, cookies, crackers, pretzels, bread, peanut butter, and donuts. She quickly said, "just eat what you want, but you will probably not want to be always coming out of your room with the 3 little ones all the time bugging you. I realize a young lady like you will want her privacy." That sounded so nice. My room in Jenny’s house was so much smaller, grungier, and my food was stuffed under the bed and jammed into the same drawers as my clothes. Jane outfitted the room with a brand new 65 inch TV mounted to the wall, with full internet. Jane said, “I bought this nice desk and super cute computer for me to surf the web to my hearts content.” The computer was powder pink, with a powder pink mouse, keyboard and monitor. I did like how she put the room together, but it felt like the room of a 12yo girl, not the 27yo woman I am.

That evening, taking stock of the room while enjoying some chips and onion dip, it truly is very girly. Does Jane see me that way? When I asked her, she laughed and told me I went through a lot in my life, and I needed a reboot. She said her intuition tells her I am in dire need of safety and love. She told me to enjoy my food, work hard at McDonalds, and just allow myself to relax and let my life take me in a new direction. I did tell her I want a man, and she said, “Liz, I hate to tell you, the last thing you need in your life is a man at this point. Your self esteem is way too low, and guys read that like a dog salivates over a slab of fresh red meat. They will get what they want, and you will be left wondering what happened, and have zero prospect for them to call you back. You may not be strong enough for a man. Unfortunately Tessie has the same problem, but luckily I’ve kept her from it. Hopefully she doesn’t do anything stupid at college. Now sweet Lizzie, let me make you a nice place of dessert and you come out to the living room and watch a Hallmark movie with me.” What she said made sense on some level, and the dessert and movie were the most fun I had in a while.

[Luvchanges]

Week 94 - Tessie

I am soooo looking forward to getting away from my mom for a while, and meeting new people! I really wished I had attended State for all four years, but getting to be there senior year is awesome. I will have a roommate and I am excited. Hopefully they are nice. I will miss my new best friend, Liz, but I’m sure we will reconnect perfectly when I move back eventually. I do worry a little she could fall into the same pattern I did living with my overprotective Mom, and little siblings, but luckily for her, it helps she isn’t directly related, and being older, she has the maturity to say no. I really look up to Liz and find her to be awesome. When I first met her, I was worried she’d be stuck up, and be all superior around me, but I’ve grown to see she is very similar to me. It’s like we are twins separated at birth! She is lucky that she got to have sex with men. I am hoping that happens to me at college.

It is really cool my mom is renting her my room. My mom made it amazing, like she did for me some years ago. I was at first shocked how juvenile she made it for Liz since she is 27, but Liz seemed fine with it. I like girly and pretty decor, and unicorns rock, but Liz always reminded me of someone who would want more of an adult room. Of course, only my mom can be a slut, and there is no way my mom would ever let Liz bring home a man; Liz therefore has no need to be worried about the embarrassment that would befall her when her date saw the unicorn room in all its glory. She will learn that quickly. Liz will also get stuck with tons of unexpected babysitting. My mom had no problem pushing out 4 of us, but she also never gives up her own fun. I mean, she does work very hard and is the general manager of our McDonalds, and it is a very profitable store, mainly because of her. She does deserve fun, and truth be told, my mom is hot. Guys in this town all are in love with her. She is very selective, and has a few guys she rotates carefully. She doesn’t want to be in a monogamous relationship ever again, and she certainly doesn't want any more kids. Each of the guys fills a specific need for my mom, although they all get to fill their need as well. I am so jealous. One of the guys, Bruce, takes her to the Caribbean every year for one week and pays for it all. He is a divorced guy who owns a dealership nearby. Neither of them want more than they have with each other. Unfortunately, that one week a year is not only one of her annual vacation weeks, it is also mine since I get stuck watching the 3 little ones for an entire week. That week is harder than a McDonalds week. What I got in return is that she spoils me. I think she actually gets Bruce to give her money for me to babysit, but she uses the money to buy me things I want, and a stack of spending money for online shopping. She also stocks the home with everything a fat girl can want. My guess is Liz will learn of her additional duties soon, but based on her money woes, I think it will be good for her.

My mom taking Liz in was huge, since I know Jenny was becoming a massive bitch, as her fiancée Dave is a complete chauvinist asshole. The only other concern I have for Liz is the lack of car. She did get her license back, but she isn’t driving due to her elevated insurance costs with the previous DUI, and she has no car. I told her she needs to save. Without a car, her whole life will be the house, McDonalds, and church.

Haha, my mom is also a church person. It is laughable because she had 4 kids with 3 different daddies, only 2 of which she ever married. She was divorced twice, and everyone knows she has multiple sexual partners, although since they are the same guys, and she is careful never to go after a married guy, the women of the town tolerate her. Some of them even like her as she is a very sweet and friendly person deep down. Church is my mom’s opportunity to dress up. She is never inappropriate, but wow, she always looks good in the pew. Church is not optional with her. Anyone living in her house must go. We go early for the pancake breakfast, then the service, then bible study, followed by a huge buffet lunch where all the ladies bring a dish. It takes up 8am-1PM every Sunday. Over the years, I did have some guys I crushed on, but as I got older, I noticed there is a guy desert between the ages of 18-30. The males are either boys, or older married men. No single guys between 18-30. The ladies are nice and I get to sit at the big girls table for pancake breakfast and buffet lunch. And, it really is generally a “big girls” table. Most of the active church ladies are big females like me. We all gossip, exchange recipes, the married ones complain about their kids and husbands, and overall we just chit chat and stuff our faces, while simultaneously complaining about our weight. I do like it. Liz may find it dull, but I’m sure she will fit in eventually. Anyway, off I go! I want to hang with Liz before I roll off to school!

Week 96 - Jenny

I feel like I lost 200 lbs when I finally pawned Liz off on Jane. Dave and I just went to the county building this past week and got married. He promised to drive me to somewhere nice for a honeymoon later in the year. I was very excited about our first weekend together as a married couple , but Dave decided to go hunting with his buddy Mike - WTF? I asked him when he was going to be home, and he told me Sunday night. Ugh. I am home all weekend by myself. I had sent my son Michael to his grandma’s home in anticipation of a weekend of newly martial bliss. Now I am home with the Hallmark Channel and ice cream. When Dave did finally arrive home Sunday night, I had a big dinner from him, and then he pumped me for two minutes and came. He went to bed. Everything a girl dreams of. I thought of calling Liz throughout the weekend, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I feel like I’ve been a bad friend. She is only 200 feet away, and I was lonely, but I also know Dave hates her, and I need to be true to his wishes. I’m sure next weekend he will be more available to me.

My job is really cool. I am the administrative assistant for this incredible tech executive in Silicon Valley. He travels to Asia all the time, so sometimes I need to take his calls, or make last minute travel changes in the middle of the night or weekends. Dave doesn’t like that. He says that no decent woman is at any guy’s call like that unless it is her husband. When I directly told him, “ok, you privide the money and I will quit.” He got angry, called me a bitch, pushed me into the fridge and ran out for the rest of the day. Seriously, I brought this house into the marriage, and I am realizing his standard of living increased significantly once he met me. He needs to understand where his bread is buttered, but I need to be careful not to antagonize him. He is a proud, old school man.

[Luvchanges]

Week 96 - Liz

I am getting into the swing of my new life. Living with Jane and her kids is better than over with Jenny and Dave. They are not the best love birdies. I still like Jenny, and wish she would see what a jerk Dave is. I feel bad for her, and I get it, as I would do the same if some man was willing to give himself to me. I just now wish I didn’t get the friendship tattoo. It seems silly now.

Living with Jane and her kids is neat. Having 3 little ones is crazy. When I moved in, Jane told me there are some rules and extra jobs that I need to get used to, but she also told me I will have lots of benefits of living with her. After the kids go to bed each night, Jane makes me a big plate of desserts and big cola, and we chat for a couple hours. Every time I finish something, she is bringing more yummy food for me. When I try to push back, she says, “nonsense, you are a hungry girl, and food makes you feel so safe, warm, and loved. I don’t like when you don’t embrace this part of yourself. You will just indulge to your heart’s content, because that is what you are meant to do. Indulging in delicious food is your passion, and you will do it whenever you are bored, blue, happy, or frustrated. It will help soothe your feelings and make you much happier. Do you understand me my little sweet cake?” It is hard to say no to her, so I listen. Jane directs me in almost every way, but she tells me I need that. When I do tell her I am an adult, she chuckles and says, “yes, you are chronologically 27, but be honest and admit that most of your coworkers who are under 22 are more mature and make better daily decisions than you.” I have to admit, many of coworkers are much more streetwise, and I do go to them all the time for help at work.

Despite her strong personality, Jane is the coolest person I’ve ever met. She treats me like a daughter, and listens to everything. Over the past few weeks, Jane has helped me better understand what she needs me to do. She needs lots of help with the 3 little kids. She told me I have a natural instinct with kids, but I need to develop it. She wants me to learn how to clean, cook, and watch kids. In return she told me she will not charge me rent, and in addition, buy me things I need like clothes, food, and fun things. She told me I’m not allowed any credit cards, as I’ve proven to be unable to handle the evil banks who now have me bankrupt. She wants me to save my checks and they go into an account that is joint between us, and Jane will manage the money. I told Jane all about my growing up and we both had a long cry. She told me I have abandonment issues, and I’m a broken person. I feel I have a mom in Jane. I told Jane I am on board with babysitting, cooking and cleaning, and even church on Sundays, but I also want a man eventually. She told me she understands, but I need to be protected for my own good for a while. I did admit what I do with Jimmy, and she hugged me and told me “you sweetie have low self esteem, and are smitten with Jimmy because he makes your kitty excited. I get excited by men too, but I don’t let them destroy me like you do. You are a woman who gets off my being used, and it isn’t good. I won’t forbid you from Jimmy, but you need to recognize that he uses you, and you are worse off for it. I also think you need to rest more. You are a girl who needs 10 hours of sleep, and after a long day on your feet at McDonalds, you should be sitting or laying down while relaxing with TV, video games, or the internet. I also don’t want you exercising, as a bigger girl like you could get hurt, and then you can’t work.” When Jane saw me reading the news, she scolded me, "I don’t think you need the worry or concern of the world adding to your stress. I want you sticking with celebrity gossip, cooking and food websites, and reading only those young lady romance novels with happy endings, do you understand?” I told her I would, and I was sorry. She joked, “don’t make me take away your internet access. Besides, I can monitor your usage.” She then told me to come into the kitchen where she fed me one by one her hot delicious out of the oven cookies. They were so yummy. She then told me to lay on the couch, watch some HGTV, and keep an eye on the little ones.

Jane has me taking direction from the shift manager Ashley when I am at work. Ashley is 22, very pretty and curvy, but not fat. She is very hard on me, and likes making fun, especially when I mess up, which is more than I like to admit. I would like to be a shift manager one day too. I do hate that Ashley keeps sticking me with the worst jobs, like the grill or assembly, while my coworkers on my shift always get the front. Admittedly, the young women on my shift bully me all the time, and Ashley fuels that fire. A lot of the ladies there have worked at the store since they were 16, so I guess it is fair to make fun of a newbie, even if I am 27.

The older people, and guys are different. They are mostly unfriendly and keep to themselves. I am been crushing on the same guy that Tessie crushed on. I know why now. He is 22yo, and built with muscles, cute smile. and great hair. Jane apparently has told everyone I’m her niece and off limits to all the men. I was kinda bummed, but I know she is looking out for me. The young guys at McDonalds all want a roll in the hay, not anything more. Knowing men are off the table for me helps me stay focused and try to do a good job. Since I work 40 hours, I need to take it seriously. Unfortunately, the whole “I’m Jane’s niece thing” is only good for chasing away men, and it doesn’t help me get the good tasks, or keep the bitches from being hard on me. Ashley tells me I will never make shift manager because I’m slow, stupid and incompetent. I feel like telling her I’m a college grad and had better jobs, but somehow I fear saying it will backfire, so I just tell Ashley, “I hopefully can prove you wrong once I get the hang of the job.” She always laughs and says, “you probably will eat away our profits before your lame ass will be a useful worker.”

Many people, including me, thought McDonalds jobs were for losers, but it is complicated, and the job challenges me every day. Smarter people than me at headquarters think of everything. They dream up registers that make checkout easy, the food is all prepared in minutes, even the cleanup of the store is all outlined in procedures. I was never as good at business as I thought I was, but I dream of this cute nerdy guy at headquarters who thinks this all up - mmmm, I wish I could meet him and do all the things he wants with me. He would totally get lucky with me if he wanted! Since I know Jane, and there is food waste, I have more of my fill of McDonalds food. I really do like the taste. Some people I work with tell me they got sick of it after a short time, but I don’t see that happening to me. How the heck could you get sick of a Big Mac, Fillet-O-fish, or the yummy fries? I know Ashley and Brittany still like the food, they just want to watch their figures so they can be whores on weekends. I really hate them.



End of Week 104 (End of two years) - Laura

What a great week, but I had a chuckle that reminded me of my old “friend” Liz. When we terminated Liz, everything gets erased from the company processes. That said, KMI has a database of anniversaries and Liz’s 2 year anniversary popped up yesterday by accident on the company intranet. We all had a laugh and wondered what she has been up to for the past 8 months. Nothing is very easy to find on the internet regarding her. The little social media presence she had hasn’t been updated since long before we even fired her. I felt like calling Jenny to be nosey, but I don’t want her to get the impression I give a fuck about her or Liz. To be truthful, I do want to know what Liz has been doing, but I could care less about Jenny. I imagine Liz is fatter than ever, and maybe unemployed. I have no idea if she moved again, or found a chubby chaser to take her in. I guess I may one day find out, but this isn’t the time.

For me, my life rocks. I am now in an intense exercise group at the same swanky club Liz once belonged to. I now take all the advanced classes she did. I brought her name up the other week, and they are all like, “yeah, she just disappeared one day.” I cattily added, “I heard she got really fat.”

My body is smoking, and much better than when I was young. I am down to 120lbs, but it is all muscle. I wish I kept Liz’s early hot clothes and never sold them, but I never imagined I would fit into them. That was an error on my part, because I’d rock Gucci better than her! I do wear nice clothes, but I am not dumb enough to spend myself into debt like she did. I will wait for another promotion and then I’m a full-on Gucci, Prada, and Louboutin girl! Jeff and I dated for 4 months and he spoiled the hell out of me. He bought me an awesome watch and necklace, and fucked me in a way I hadn’t experienced in years, if ever. The problem with Jeff is that he couldn't dote on me as much as I demanded. I gave him a few ultimatums, but he still had so many responsibilities with his still under 18yo kids. I dumped him, but not without keeping the watch and jewelry. Sorry Jeff, those were gifts without strings attached. Anyway, you got to ride this fine piece of ass, so consider it the price of paying to play. I’ve been out on different dating sites, and I get dozens of offers for every weekend night. I selectively pick the best of the best, and I’ve had a blast. The guy I was with last weekend took me out on Saturday night, and we rang up a $450 dinner/cocktail bill at the newest hot exclusive restaurant downtown. This guy was hot - a 30yo investment banker, 6’3’’, beautiful smooth muscular body, and big yummy cock that could go all night long (and it did).

At work, another promotion for me!! I am flying up the ranks. Stephanie was shocked, and I think she is now worried about me as competition. What I have over her is that Don Miller, the CEO, has realized I was someone he overlooked, and he wants to correct it. When the shit hit the fan over the past decade, it was me who solved these executive’s problems. The young highly educated types either use the company to leverage their next gig at another place, or they have no common sense, and just make a lot of money with little results. I get results. I also enjoy the attention from the male executives at work who once leered at Liz - ha! their overlooked Laura - never again will you guys make that mistake. None of those dopes have any chance anyway - I am not shitting where I eat, unless it is for a big promotion or payday.

Now that my income is flying up, a new German convertible, and a luxury condo is something I want to buy. My sponge daughter Amber is going to need to step up her game. She is old enough for me to kick out, but I am not ready for that step yet. I do have my eye on her current boyfriend, Miles, who she takes way too much for granted. Look, he is great for her, but not successful enough for me. He is however a 10. He is so fucking good looking, I wonder why he settles for Amber? She is good looking, but mostly because she is young, not fat, and she does dress with her own chic style. She is however lazy and not too sharp. Cheating with Miles would be exhilarating.

[david515]

Always fantastic updates!

[Luvchanges]

Week 108 - Liz

I chat with Tessie all the time on my computer. She is having a good time. She met two cool friends, Alexa and Beth. Alexa is a mousy and super skinny, and Beth is a fatty like Tessie and I. They are both sophomores, as there are no seniors in college housing. They are nerds like her, and play Mindcraft, read comics and crush on boys. Tessie called me and told me she made out with a boy. She sent a pic, and he was like super cute in a nerdy way. She asked if I was with a man, and I told her I was in a dry spell. She told me to stay away from that guy Jimmy, unless I get really horny. I told her I still see him sometimes but I agree. I told her about our home life, and she chuckled and said, “it looks like mommy has replaced me. Don’t let her get you too fat. She is a master of making her prized daughters, even surrogate, comfortable and pampered". She warned me, her mom would be controlling. Jane’s two weaknesses according to Tessie include her domination to get her way in a manner you don’t see until it is too late, and she has a way too much of a libido for a woman her age with 4 kids.

I am not into God and stuff, but I love my Sunday church days. It is the only time of the week I am social. I love little Nikki, Ben, and Lucy, Jane’s kids. I find myself watching lots of kids TV, and eating sugary kids cereals in my pajamas until 2PM on Saturday. The church ladies are so nice. None of them went to college, and when asked, I tell them I didn’t either. When I say it, they say “we figured you never did anyway. Girls that do are so liberal and have ideas that are silly. They all seem to hate men, God, and carbs.” I laugh and tell them, “I found carbs and never looked back”. This past week I signed up to make a dish, and the ladies loved it. They fill my plate and tell me to just fatten up and let the man who is ok with that make an honest woman of me. Another sweet lady, Grace, pulls me aside and tells me, don’t eat so much, lose some weight, find a man, and then blow up like a balloon. I ask her why don’t I just lose weight and stay hot. She laughed and said, “honey, hot left the station for you probably when you were a kid, and besides, you are a fatty at heart, I see you attack those plates. Just hold back for while as men, even those who like obese women, need to have a relatively thin bride for their ego with family and friends. If you are obese as young woman, you will end up a spinster. You will have great girlfriends, but no man. Trust me. Don’t sit at the feeding trough with the married ladies, they have their men already.”

I haven’t gotten my hair done in quite a super long time. My hair is almost halfway down my back. I just haven’t been sure where to go, and, on my McDonalds’ pay, I really can’t afford an “upscale salon”. Jane noticed my issue, and told me she could help. Her friend Ann has been doing Tessie’s hair for years. I asked when she was going to her next, and Jane told me she personally likes her hair a certain way, but it is at another salon and it is more expensive. Ann does it for $20. I never was a huge fan of Tessie’s hair, so the one person I know isn’t a great one. Jane told me my long hair is way too high maintenance and I need something more “wash and go”. She is probably right, but with all my weight gain, I am worried a short cut may just look like I mailed it in. It may hurt me with any future men, and I don’t need anymore strikes against me. I really want to be cool. Even though I was afraid, Jane told me she wants me to do it, and she will take me and treat me. She will not take no for an answer. When I asked if I could go to her salon, she said, “Lizzie, honey, it is $150, and you don’t have the money”. I asked about my bank account, and she said, “well you could tap that, but that would not be a prudent use of money for a young silly girl like you, would it?.” I whined, “I guess not, but I don’t want to look uncool.” Jane smiled, and said, “I will tell you what, for $15 extra, Ann will dye a ‘fun’ color in your hair, and you won’t look as plain as Tessie since you will have a blue or purple streak in it”. That did sound fun, and I never had a bold color in my hair, so I agreed to do it.

I also learned that not only do my McDonald’s crew think I’m Jane’s niece, but everyone in the town thinks so as well. I asked Jane about it, and she hugged me, and asked me if I didn’t feel a family bond with her? As I thought about it, I kinda do. She asked, “what is the harm of it? I promise to always be there for you, forever.” I stared crying. Jane made me a sundae and we talked until midnight. I love Jane. Jane asked me how I feel about Tessie, and I told her that she is the first real friend I ever had, and now Jane is as well too.

I told Jane that I was jealous of her smoking body and super smart head. She looked at me and said, “Lizzie, Jenny showed me pics of you from two years ago, and you were a 10. Maybe not as sharp as you thought, but you were beautiful conventionally. I think you are cute now, but men love the hard, sexy, fit women. I am too sexual, so unfortunately I need to stay fit. I really don’t think you are sexual. I think you liked men because you need to be taken care of.” When I told her it couldn’t be true because I have been with men for just sex. Jane laughed and said, “you had sex because of your fragile ego which is now destroyed, and you see men as superior, so you got off on their physical power over you. Sex is bad for a damaged girl like you, and you need to find more healthy outlets.” When I asked her what those are, Jane said, “Lizzie dear, you need nurturing, calmness, female companionship, caretaking children, and quiet pursuits, and lots and lots of rest and comfort food. Do you understand?” I said I think I do. I was trying to remember hot men, and I forgot the fun part - did I really have fun? Jane doesn’t think so. She thinks I was obsessed with male superiority, even when I was thin, and I liked the fear and humiliation. I don’t remember that, but I’ve been confused lately. I do know I let Jimmy humiliated me, and I can’t ever do that again. Jane would be unhappy with me.

I went down the hill and talked to Jenny two weeks ago. I saw her outside my window washing Dave’s truck. I wanted to talk. She was lonely and talked to me for two hours. She said “you probably don’t like me anymore.” I laughed and asked her why she’d say that. She said, “I kind of ran you out of here.” We talked and I found out ever since they got married, Dave has been not super nice to her. I told her at least she is being taken care of, and she laughed, “sure, I pay for everything, he lives in my house, and yet he is somehow the boss”. I said to her, “Jenny, are you happy?” She looked at me and said, “I don’t know. Dave went to trade school years ago to become an electrician, but apparently I’m finding out he works only sporadically, and drinks a lot with his friends when he is supposed to be working. I ran into this lady, Susan, last week and she asked me how it was going with Dave. She has known him a long time. According to her, he is a charmer, but he has a long history of under achievement and sponging off women. I am starting to think I’m a sucker.”

I told Jenny she is looking hot and asked her what she weighed. She proudly told me 169.5. I was like “wow! You are way lighter than me! Look, if Dave doesn’t work out, you are getting hot, so why don’t you just get another man since you are thin. She replied, “Liz, I just don’t think there is another man out there for me, and truth be told, since I married Dave, he’s had sex with me 4 times total. He has been draining my bank accounts, and basically abusing me. But I really don’t want to be alone again. At least he is nice to MIchael.” I feel bad for her.

I had continued to give into Jimmy’s stuff, but one day, I asked Jane to tell him to leave me alone, as I am unable to confront him or say ‘no’. Jane stared at me and said, “you told me to stay out of your man issues, and yet you kept whoring around with him. Do you realize how bad that makes our family look?” I told her, “I know ma’am, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it”. Jane replied, “how can I responsibly allow you to go out on dates if you need me to do your breakups? You are too immature for men and dating. You need to start thinking about you family relationships, some sweet girlfriends, and maybe over time you should consider non-sexual dates with sweet men who have never had sex yet.” I asked her again if she would tell Jimmy, and she said, “yes Lizzie, but you need to consider what I said. Now let me make you a tray of nachos. You look stressed, so this will help you. While you are munching on your nachos, I will call Jimmy and let him no you are off limits.”

[Luvchanges]

Week 109 - Liz

I had a night of crazy dreams. In my dream, Jimmy was making fun of me me at a buffet, spanking me, and everyone in the restaurant was like in a circle around us, and cheering him on. I hated him, yet I wanted to please him. When he asked me if I wanted it to stop, every part of me wanted to yell yes, but all I could say was a “no sir, I want to do what you want.” One of the ladies in the restaurant laughed, and said, “I knew she should have never left her mommy. Now she is in big trouble.”

I woke up in a cold sweaty puddle. I rolled over. It took a half hour to fall back asleep. I was back in another crazy dream.

I was in my childhood house, and I had the coolest boy from high school over, Troy. Troy was tall and hot, and he was the quarterback on the football team. He looked so much like I remembered, but I am very fat in this dream, looking more like I do today. My parents weren’t home, and I wanted to please him. He didn’t wait for an answer. He ripped off my clothes and took me in every way he wanted. Troy left me on the ground, put on his clothes and started leaving. I asked if we could kiss and watch TV or something, and he laughed and said, “why would I waste time with a loser like you? I hope you are on birth control because I’m not dealing with it if you aren’t. Oh, and don’t dare tell anyone at school we did this, or I will deny it. No one would believe I’d fuck a hippo like you.” He went out the door and I started crying. My mom came home and saw my fat body, naked and used. She asked what happened and I told her. She starred at me and told me I am in big trouble. I cried out “why?” She said, “you can’t handle a stud like that, and you are embarrassing our family with your pathetic behavior. Dad and I are winners, and we are cursed with you. Please don’t ruin our reputation with your bad judgement.” I asked for a hug, and she responded, “hugs are for people you are proud of. Now go to your room, put a tent over that whale body, and keep a low profile from now on. High school quarterbacks have only one use for you - a quick anonymous release.”

I woke up again in a cold sweaty puddle, but also a wet bed from my pee pee. It is dark outside still, and I am scared. I put my head under the wet covers, shaking until the morning light came into the room. I need to take these sheets to the washer so Jane doesn’t see I wet the bed again.

Week 109 - Jane

I started having these nightmares since Tessie left. They have become more vivid and scary. Lately I have felt very disconnected from the men I date, and the girlfriends I see. My three little ones have always been hard for me to connect with, and I never felt like a nurturing mommy, with the exception of Tessie. Tessie was my one child I felt a deep connection to, but she was also conceived from the only baby daddy I loved. The other two men may have penetrated my vagina, but they never penetrate my walls. Tessie’s dad broke my heart. He was the only man I ever loved, and he had been cheating on me throughout our relationship. When he left, he looked me in the eye and said, “Jane, I need you to know I never loved you. I wanted to, but I never found anything worth loving you for. I did like the sex though, but to be honest, that was about it. We really need to go our separate ways. I am moving out to California, so you can have all parental rights to Tess.” My heart broke completely.

Maybe it was never really not broken. My childhood sucked. The short version is that my dad knocked my mom up, married her because he was religious, beat her, left her, and she subsequently went on to become a drunk and she verbally abused me daily. I was reminded every day that I chased my father away from her, and that I ruined her life. We were poor, but I had a few friends. When we entered middle school, the years of subsisting on Twinkie's, mac and cheese, and hot dogs caught up with me. I went from normal weight to 40 lbs overweight in 8th and 9th grade. My only two girlfriends from grade school dumped me for being uncool. I was alone. I decided to starve myself, and by the end of 11th grade, I was a relatively normal weight again. I started getting asked on dates senior year and took a job at a McDonalds in my hometown. My grades were better and I was happy. Until of course the prom with Johnny Gavin. It was a magical evening until good old Johnny decided to rape me after the prom. I told my friends, and they said I would be smart to just leave it be and chalk it up to the booze we were all drinking. I told my mom, and she laughed, and walked away. I resolved to move far away after graduation. I did, took up a job at another McDonalds, and worked hard the rest of my life since. I saw my mom 3 more times and then the 4th and final time was her in a pine box when I was 28. She died broke, alone, and drunk. We never connected.

I miss Tessie and my heart breaks. I do feel like Lizzie is very similar, but I have strange and different feelings for her. I can’t reconcile it. Something about Lizzie is changing me.

When I wake up, I can never remember the dreams, but I do remember an extreme feeling of being alone. After getting up and looking in on one of the little ones, especially tiny cute Nikki, I calm down. The peaceful look on her face makes me feel everything will be ok.



Week 110 - Tessie

I am happy to be home for the holidays. I wasn’t able to get back at Thanksgiving, but I figured I had been home so many years, it would be ok to miss one. I will be home a few weeks and then do the winter session back at college. It is weird not having my room anymore, but the guest room is pretty good. I suspect she wants me to know I have a place here whenever I want.

Seeing Liz was good. We had been chatting all through the semester, although it decreased throughout as I got busy with college. When I walked in the door, we embraced our bodies - interestingly there feels like there is much more Liz. I could feel and see what my mom’s little cozy prison is doing to her expanding body, but she also seems more shy than she did in August. I was surprised how her new haircut changed her look so much. My mom introduced her to Ann, who is very well priced, extremely sweet, but her talents are a far cry from the elegant salons that Liz used to attend. Her hair was chopped in a short boy cut, and Ann obviously lightened it with her cheap bleach product. For fun, Liz asked for a blue streak in it, and it does look cute, although she now looks way less mature than she did when I met her. I did notice that Liz has gained quite a bit more weight in her thighs, butt, hips and face. Her upper body hasn’t added much weight, including her breast which somehow look smaller. Liz looks like an exaggerated pear, although she appears to have a nice sized tummy pouch that droops in front of her. Her newly emerging double chin of the summer is now a full blown double chin, and it would leave someone who never knew her the impression she has always been fat. The extra weight, grey sweatsuit, and haircut definitely has taken away some of her intimidation and presence - ok, maybe all of it. I will need to find out her man situation.

Seeing my mom was both awesome and unsettling. She has been my everything my whole life, but I found I finally wasn’t under her thumb the past 4 months, and that was liberating, and scary. I spent some time telling her about my living situation and school, but I really wanted to be alone with Liz so we could chat.

Liz invited me into her room later and shut the door. She asked me, “do tell! Any boyfriends?” I was surprised how giddy she got. I was flattered that I seemed to have the more interesting life. I told her that there were hundreds of cute guys on campus. My issue is that at my weight, it is a turn off to most men, but there are a few I hooked up with, just no sex yet. I told Liz I was annoyed that the two men I got to know well from classes, friend-zoned me. They would drone on for hours telling me about their different dates as if I was never an option. I also did give my first BJ to a guy, the one I sent her a pic of earlier in the semester. He was sweet, but I didn’t want to tie myself down with him since I want to find someone more dreamy. I just wish I let him take my virginity to get that over with.

I told Liz my girl friends were fun, and we hang out all the time. She laughed when I told her we walk every day for exercise around campus and we even go to the gym 2 days a week, just to get some exercise. I admitted it was mostly to check out the beautiful people.

Liz had food stocked in her room, very much like my mom did for me. I warned her about weight gain, and she said “I know Tessie, I shouldn’t eat like I do. My health, ability to get a man, and self esteem have all gone downhill.” I asked her about her health and she told me Dr. Brown has her on blood pressure pills, a cholesterol pill, and Liz pulled out a CPCP device she needs to sleep. I was lucky I never needed that, but I am also on pills for Cholesterol and blood pressure, as well as generic Prozac. I told her she should exercise, and she whined that she’s too tired and just can’t get herself to do it. I know what she means. When I worked at McDonalds, I was physically exhausted when I got home each day. I suggested maybe we could walk while I am home, and Liz said “ok, I guess.”

Her situation with guys is bad. She has tried to meet men at the bar down the street, but only quick hookups and storeroom sex are what she’s offered. Unfortunately, Liz occasionally goes out, and she lets men use her, and then she cries when she gets home. She was still being manipulated and humiliated by Jimmy, at least until my mom successfully told him to get lost. I did warn Liz that my Mom’s intervention will cost her. “Liz, my mom will now treat you like you are incapable with men, and you will never be allowed to make decisions regarding men without her input.” She responded some lame, “maybe Jane is right, I am incapable with men.” I told her “no way, you just lost a little confidence.” It is hard to believe Liz was a woman who could get any hot guy she wanted. I never had that in my life, and I am super jealous. That said, I think I am more fortunate for never having experienced great sex, as Liz did, and lost it, most likely forever. Liz seems willing to accept mediocre sex from guys who aren’t special, and who don’t respect her. Since I left for college, I am believing I have the ability to change my fate.

We enjoyed our pizzas, handfuls of buttered popcorn and mini Hersheys bars, and sappy movies. I tried to stay somewhat moderate, as I’ve been much better with portion control. Liz ate the largest portion of the food by far. As we were finishing the movie, Liz got up to change into her PJs. I got to see her naked body in all its glory. Her body shape is pear as I witnessed with her clothed, but her stretch marks and cellulite are at a level beyond me. She is encased is soft flesh. It is like soft bread continuously rising until it is fluffy and soft, just begging to be devoured. Her ever fattening legs are adorned by the same soft flesh, creating an illusion that she is much shorter than before. She now sports thunder thighs, fat knees with cute rolls around the kneecaps, and big jiggly calves. The calves blend into Liz’s newly formed cankles, which hover above her cute little cubby feet. I am still quite a bit fatter, but LIz looks so soft and doughy. I found it quite cute, but at the same time, it made me more determined to undo my obesity one pound at a time.

[david515]

Loving the way this stories going, and the way Liz is going to end up

[Luvchanges]

Thanks David! I am glad you like it!

Everyone, please let me know how you like the direction of the story, and if there is anything you don't like, or storylines for which you would like to see more.

[david515]

Sorry I know I keep commenting haha, I like the fact that it looks like Liz will end up a 400lb fatty, I also want the feeder feedee stuff to continue with Jimmy but that's just my opinion of course, great stuff man!

[Luvchanges]

I love the comments David. Liz is definitely going to end up a lifelong fatty. Stay tuned for her journey. There is more feeder/feedee action, but it will come from a different angle. Keep reading!