Confirmation Bias (stereotypes, various)

[AbolethLasher]

Confirmation Bias (stereotypes, various)
By AbolethLasher

Arthur Moore might have been the most unpleasant and cantankerous old man to walk the Earth. It was hard to say if he had ever been happy - the deep wrinkles on his face didn’t show any signs of laughter, and the stoop he had when he stood up was ever present.

On this particular day, Arthur found himself in a new coffee shop that had opened up on the other side of town. He looked around, and was predictably disappointed. He sighed.

A young woman stood behind the counter, and greeted him. Arthur noted she was Hispanic. Of course! All the jobs were being replaced by uneducated, illegal immigrants these days. She probably didn’t even speak a word of English.

Rosaria Harris blinked, as her life history changed. Before Arthur’s thought, she had been a hardworking college student working on her Masters in Physics. She had graduated high school top of her class, and made the dean’s list every semester, and her only shame was that she had never really learned Spanish. As the daughter of a bilingual Mexican mother, and a white father who didn’t know Spanish, she had grown up as a monolingual English speaker.

As a dizzy spell came over her, the memories of her upbringing were different. She wasn’t an American citizen at all, and she certainly wasn’t a college student. Her parents had both been poor farmers in the South of Mexico, and had saved money throughout her childhood so that Rosaria could illegally cross the border into the United States. When she had finally crossed, she had searched for work through the Hispanic community, and found out that a new coffee shop was opening and the owner didn’t care about paying workers under the table.

“Hola señor. ¿Qué te gustaría pedir?” she said to him. Her nametag now read Rosaria Martinez.

Arthur furrowed his brow. He wasn’t even disappointed. This was exactly what he had come to expect.

He tried to break out his middle school spanish. “Uh, no hablo es-pan-yol. Do you speak English? Inglés?” He said the English words loudly and slowly, hoping she might understand that way.

Rosaria smiled at him, but didn’t seem to understand.

“Oh, fuck it,” he said. “Can you give me coffee? Co-ffee?” He pointed at the picture on the menu.

Rosaria nodded. "¿Quieres azúcar o crema?”

Arthur crossed his arms. “Uh, coffee? Please give me coffee.” He put money on the table.

Rosaria looked flustered, but took the money and started making him a drink.

Arthur went to an empty table and sat down. He saw some girls making noise at a nearby table.

He shook his head. Of course, a new coffee shop opens up, and every brain-dead bimbo flocks to it, ruining the peace and quiet with their giggling and gossiping.

He didn’t realize that he was looking at a study session for the local high school. All of these girls were whipsmart, and had great things in their future. Stacy was blonde, but she certainly wasn’t dumb, a model student, president of the student council and on track for valedictorian. Tiffany was brunette and had been in Gifted and Talented since first grade, when she was reading five grades above her expected level. She hadn’t slowed down since. Monica was a redhead, and was a star member of the Science Olympiad team.

As Arthur’s thoughts went through his head, this all changed.

Stacy was startled when the calculus homework she was working on disappeared. What the fuck? She looked around, and saw that none of her study partners had their homework in front of them anymore. Study partners? That didn’t sound right.

Stacy’s head started to feel funny. Years of dedication to school and academics disappeared second by second, as her head became emptier and emptier. And each second, that emptiness was filled with other thoughts. Easier thoughts. Stacy felt like her thoughts were slowing down, but for some reason she didn’t feel worried. She was out with her bitches!

Tiffany, the head cheerleader, Monica, the most fashionable girl in school, and Stacy herself, the hottest, dumbest girl in school.

“Can you believe what that nerd Jessica was wearing today?” Monica said.

“I know!” Stacy said. “She’s never going to get a guy wearing that.” Stacy twirled her hair.

Tiffany shook her head. “It’s a shame girls like that have to work hard, because they just aren’t pretty enough to get everything they want from guys.”

The three of them giggled, completely unaware of the genius they had lost.

Arthur waited impatiently for his coffee, and saw a woman pushing a stroller come in. He noted that she didn’t have a man with her. Probably a single mother taking welfare checks from the government. It was only a matter of time before she had a whole brood of bastards.

Amelia was a solidly middle-class woman, working as a pharmacist. Her and her husband had one beautiful daughter, and they were perfectly happy with just one kid. Her husband had actually had to wear her down to even have one kid - she had initially preferred the childfree life, but she had no regrets after seeing her daughter’s smile for the first time. She had come into this new shop to check it out, and her husband was waiting in the car.

Then Arthur’s thoughts hit Amelia like a truck.

One kid enough? She thought. That was crazy! More kids meant more government money, and she wouldn’t stop until she was getting enough to live comfortably on. Her memories of being a pharmacist faded away, and were replaced by a spottier work history. She had been a stripper for a while, and the pay was decent, but she had wanted more money for less work, and had started fucking her clients for cash. But then she had gotten knocked up, and discovered that there was a far easier way to make money for far less work.

Her husband was no longer waiting in the car. Instead, one of the three men who could be her baby daddy was waiting outside. If he wasn’t a baby daddy now, he was going to be a baby daddy soon, given the way the two of them fucked like rabbits.

Amelia didn’t seem notice as her nose gained a septum piercing, or as tattoos appeared under clothes.

Arthur was almost pleased when he saw Rosaria bringing coffee to his table. It took her long enough. He finally noticed a little basket on his table with some customer satisfaction surveys. He pulled one of the little golf pencils out, grabbed a survey and wrote.

“It’s impossible to find a good coffee place in this town. I’m sad to report that this dump was exactly like I thought it would be.”

[EFHRJ]

Definitely a hot fun piece. Wouldn't mind seeing more like this.

[Bluesnake462]

This was a lot of fun, would love to see more if the idea

[Memes121]

Reality manipulation is always great! Really nice piece