Fat Camp - by Kid A (XWG, Revenge)

Moderator: kid a

Re: Fat Camp - by Kid A (XWG, Revenge)

Postby kid a » Fri Jul 20, 2018 8:13 pm

riptoryx wrote:
Her diaphanous hips burst into view from the sides of her drooping lower belly apron.

I (again) don't mean to be "that guy," but...diaphanous?


lol...that’s ok - I don’t know where i picked that up from but in my head it meant something else. I see you are correct
kid a
Transformation Grand Master
 
Posts: 326
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2017 7:13 pm

Re: Fat Camp - by Kid A (XWG, Revenge)

Postby Matt L. » Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:35 pm

Very enjoyable chapter, much can be said about your devious choice of words that have a biting connotation in terms of Paige’s transformation and status. Camper Paige Forrester - denotes her category, her imperious reputation as Star of Camp Cupcake having been eclipsed, Paige could very well be just any anonymous camper at this point.

I can quite imagine Paige at nearly 400-pounds, you didn’t hold back with the detail, flawless and creative, her obese body in T-shirt and shorts, Mrs. Covington might have specifically ordered the garments for Paige, she has gotten humongous.

The eye glasses are a nice touch, adds a hint of gawkiness, and corresponds to the fat geeky type.
I like where Paige is called fatty and piggy, and tubby. The malicious statements she made now being made to her, and how quiet Paige has become, something of a milquetoast or introvert?
Paige calling Mrs. Covington “Ma’am, and whining on top of it! Wow, she really has been humbled.

Finally, I noticed Covington refers to Kelly as “Our little Kelly”, I wonder what you have up your sleeve!

Nice conclusion on top of it.

Paige the camper really rakes in my curiosity, but I can really feel her humiliation, and on that note-

Extra Kudos!

Cheers, Matt
Matt L.
Transformation Grand Master
 
Posts: 1619
Joined: Fri May 25, 2012 3:01 pm

Re: Fat Camp - by Kid A (XWG, Revenge)

Postby kid a » Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:42 pm

Matt L. wrote:The eye glasses are a nice touch, adds a hint of gawkiness, and corresponds to the fat geeky type.


I thought you’d like the glasses bit - a tip of the cap to some of your work. ;)
kid a
Transformation Grand Master
 
Posts: 326
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2017 7:13 pm

Re: Fat Camp - by Kid A (XWG, Revenge)

Postby Matt L. » Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:50 pm

Thank you! I'm honored.
Matt L.
Transformation Grand Master
 
Posts: 1619
Joined: Fri May 25, 2012 3:01 pm

Re: Fat Camp - by Kid A (XWG, Revenge)

Postby Lyssa » Fri Jul 20, 2018 11:50 pm

Cool! 400-pounds! Paige is a butterball blimp! :D Love how she is whiny and passive, not so argumentative now is she.
Paige didn't even talk back, dam dude, she's changed in personality too. I hope you bring back Kelly before it ends, the she speaks line was great, just what Paige said to Kelly, you began with her character and now that she and Paige has swapped places, be cool to see how she reacts to Paige out weighing her at the beginning. :D Too bad Kelly wasn't around for Paige to strip and the jumping jacks! :D

:D
Lyssa
Transformation Master
 
Posts: 204
Joined: Mon Oct 14, 2013 9:41 pm
Location: Mid -West

Re: Fat Camp - by Kid A (XWG, Revenge)

Postby WoolieRage » Sat Jul 21, 2018 2:56 pm

kid a wrote:Very interesting feedback. While you point out some possible gaps in my plot (do Covington and Darla CARE about the other campers??), I think that’s just a byproduct of where I’ve chosen to focus their ire.

FWIW, I have never intended for there to be anything remotely redeeming about either of them. They are villains. And at the end of the day, all of the characters have a singular end-game.

The fattening of Paige Forrester.

As for the Mom, the frustration was supposed to be another byproduct - of her deep rooted disdain for Paige. Yeah it’s hypocritical on its face but clearly she never liked Paige. And regardless of the role she played, Paige is a pathetic porker now so she is treating her as such.


Oh, I never once doubted that any of them were antagonists with one goal in mind. I just found myself thinking about that as the story went on.
WoolieRage
Member
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Sat Oct 21, 2017 6:21 pm

Re: Fat Camp - by Kid A (XWG, Revenge)

Postby kid a » Sat Jul 21, 2018 7:35 pm

WoolieRage wrote:Oh, I never once doubted that any of them were antagonists with one goal in mind. I just found myself thinking about that as the story went on.


They were good questions and hopefully allowed me to clarify a few things.
kid a
Transformation Grand Master
 
Posts: 326
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2017 7:13 pm

Re: Fat Camp - by Kid A (XWG, Revenge)

Postby Lyssa » Mon Jul 23, 2018 4:11 am

My take about Paige's mom is that she didn't like her daughter's conceited attitude, and maybe she was a little jealous of her beauty. Then later she was annoyed and angered that Paige had become a lazy slob, as you put it, a pathetic porker.
Paige's mom is treating her as such because Paige has no motivation to improve herself and has become comfortable in her fat girl status.

:D
Lyssa
Transformation Master
 
Posts: 204
Joined: Mon Oct 14, 2013 9:41 pm
Location: Mid -West

Re: Fat Camp - by Kid A (XWG, Revenge)

Postby kid a » Mon Jul 23, 2018 4:33 am

Lyssa wrote:My take about Paige's mom is that she didn't like her daughter's conceited attitude, and maybe she was a little jealous of her beauty. Then later she was annoyed and angered that Paige had become a lazy slob, as you put it, a pathetic porker.
Paige's mom is treating her as such because Paige has no motivation to improve herself and has become comfortable in her fat girl status.

:D


Totally correct on the first point(s)

As for turning on her, it’s more of “Well i finally have the chance to REALLY dump on you so I’m sure as shit gonna take advantage”

And like I said all that deep-rooted resentment really bubbling up in new ways. It was fun for a while but now she is dealing with a fat lazy slob around the clock...

Careful what you wish for ;)
kid a
Transformation Grand Master
 
Posts: 326
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2017 7:13 pm

Re: Fat Camp - by Kid A (XWG, Revenge)

Postby kid a » Thu Jul 26, 2018 9:22 am

CONCLUSION

A few minutes later, Paige made a short but arduous walk of shame from the bathroom to the center of Covington’s office, wearing nothing save for a huge yet somehow undersized bra and panties. She cringed as she felt her immense, blubbery thighs pressing into each other as she waddled along; the true extent of her collapse striking her with finality as she cautiously looked up at her dual tormentors.

For a moment, their snarky comments and nasty looks had been replaced by more genuine shock and repulsion at the sight before them. Obviously they knew Paige had gotten very fat, but neither had ever laid eyes on her in such an exposed and vulnerable state. She watched as Covington slowly shook her head from side to side in disbelief, while Darla stared blankly at her with a look that could nearly be described as detached sympathy.

Free from the confines of her shirt, her massive belly had assumed its untethered and striking dimensions, surging out heavily to fill the void between her flabby breasts and doorframe width hips. Paige’s lower belly roll pooched and dangled like a thick loaf of blubber, fully occupying her comically large panties and jiggling as it rested tentatively atop her cellulite covered thighs.

Bright red stretch marks ran vertically up her gelatinous love handles and sides, which merged into her countless rolls of back fat, the entire flabby presentation squeezing uncomfortably into her almost formless upper arms. Not a trace of muscle definition remained on her body, which seemed to sway and ripple like a fat-injected water bed as she stood there bracing herself for what was to come.

“Looking good Paige,” Darla stated plainly. “I have to admit....not even I thought you would ever get this fat. That’ll teach me to underestimate your appetite.”

“OK fatass,” she continued, “as much as I’d love to stand here and try to count your rolls all day, things to do and other porkers to see. So let’s get to it.”

“GO!!!”, she screamed, starting her stop watch as Covington glared at Paige with a vindictive grin on her face.

Startled, Paige grunted as she once again knelt down to begin the attempt. Never before had she so vividly felt the hundreds of pounds of useless blubber she had packed onto her body until this moment. Her heavy, sagging belly poured down over her knees; gravity and momentum brought the rest of her corpulent frame along for the descent as she tried to propel herself off the ground.

Lifting her flabby arms towards the ceiling, she might have come 2 inches off the carpet before she returned to the earth in a jiggling, heavy thud. A jolt of pain shot through her left knee; she screamed in pain as she reached for the source of her injury, falling in a heap in the process.

She lay there gasping for breath, moaning and sweating as Covington and Darla watched silently. “How’d she do, Darla??”, Covington asked sarcastically as she placed a stack of papers back in a neat pile back on her desk.

“Boy I’m not sure she made it, boss,” Darla crooned in reply. “What do you think, eh porky??”, she asked Paige as she attempted in vain to roll her bulk to a seated position.

“But I tried!!”, Paige whined in response as she finally sat up. She grimaced, trying to stretch her huge arms past her belly rolls to grasp at her wounded knee.

“Now now, Paige,” Covington shot back. “There is no try at Camp Cupcake. Only do.”

“I have a feeling you’ll be with us for quite a while, so you’ll get accustomed to how we do things around here.”

“But I’m sure it’ll come as a relief that neither us could care less if you lose an ounce. We have other plans for you. Camp Mascot if you will.”

“Why, we’ve even turned your old Cabin 12 into the new contraband storage facility for the entire camp! Of course you’ll have your old living quarters. And around the clock access to the holding lockers.”

Paige stared at her in wide-eyed disbelief as her bulging belly began to growl. “We’ll call it another experiment, Paige,” Covington finished. “Can you actually control your appetite under such extreme temptations? All of us, your Mother included, just can’t WAIT to see the results.”

“Now get her fat ass out of my sight, Darla,” she snapped. Watching the oddest of couples exiting her office, Covington reclined in her chair and smiled. Hearing a buzz, she looked down at noticed that in her hasty exit, Darla had accidentally left her cell phone behind.

Covington scowled as she glanced at the message on the screen.

“OMG I know girl. I don’t know how you can stand working for that wrinkled old witch either. Let me know when you’re done in there so we can grab a drink.”

Covington glanced out the window, watching as Darla pushed and prodded her cartoonishly fat captive in the direction of Cabin 12.

“I can only hope,” she said aloud, and with determination, “that no one else on my staff gets too big for their designer britches.”

THE END
kid a
Transformation Grand Master
 
Posts: 326
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2017 7:13 pm

PreviousNext

Return to Kid A

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests