A job well done (various)

[Junketh71]

...Once upon a time, you turn on the TV and see none other but Ms. Big Spender, Mrs. President go out on some hinky-dink (but largely annoying) weight loss show and preach about the miracle of aforementioned weight loss. Can you imagine anything more annoying? Considering that the spokesperson in question has more money than common sense to spend not just on plastic surgeons, but also on just casual, pointless shopping – not really.

What to do, what to do? As the Mrs. President blathers on, I look upon her biography – where to tweak it?

Let us start from the beginning: childhood in Chicago, traditional family values, food on the table, blah, blah, blah. Annoying and boring, just like her. I reach out and send just a bit of chaos her way, and suddenly the would-be First Lady ends up re-taking the first six grades of school due to a complete lack of interest in the courses, including gym. The intelligence is there, everything is there, but the girl does not care, and ends up receiving a rather lackluster education and reputation.

Zoom back to the present: the exalted speaker is still exalted, but... certainly less so. Her black hair still shows signs of an alternative, not mainstream haircut, and there are actually two dyed streaks, brown and white in it.

The body too is more husky and stout – maybe just by two or three pounds, but it is there, reflected primarily in the shoes, which are plain and flat-soled, in order to easily carry her slightly enlarged body mass efficiently and quickly. Interesting. I shrug and go on.

High school – occasional run-ins with a daughter of a big-shot rights’ activist, ever growing and ever more successful career in college politics, including a membership honor roll. I shrug and throw another dash of chaos into the mix.

...The future Mrs. President tried to overcompensate for her lackluster school performance, but just could not get the hang of it: sometimes she would just be unable to generate enough interest and practically drop a course, unable to follow it through; other times she would go into an ‘overachiever’ mode and become the classroom’s annoyance. It goes the same for extracurricular activities – she’s unable to hold on to any, she either drops them or is kicked out, creating more enemies, rather than friends, in the process, save for a certain Miss Rogers, who would later become a zoologist, specializing in big mammals...

Back in the present, the First Lady has become even more unconventional. The dye streaks are there to be seen by everyone: one chestnut brown, the other stark white – a clear contrast to her black hair, which is no longer a demure shoulder length, but is more unruly, somewhat like an anime character’s. This is matched by a lip that still has a circular track of a formerly present piercing job, one that was done and gone long ago, but still...

The flat-soled, sensible shoes are now combined with a suit that was dyed in a custom-made job, tiger stripes. Interesting, and her speech is more interesting too.

Well, when I say ‘speech’, I mean not the verb, but the action – it is now something of a lecture, done in a more passionate way, though the topic keeps wandering between weight loss in particular and what is wrong with this country in particular. Cute, and no longer so boring. Once more into the breach, then...

...Unlike her brother, the young woman does make it to university, but she does not shine in it, and in fact wavers between dropping out of it and adhering to parental pressure (to compensate for the even more lackluster life of her brother, no doubt), when her friend Ellen (Rogers) asks our would-be first lady and their other friend, one miss Calhoun, to go with her down to Florida to participate in a GP-funded project against unfair land development. I do not even need to send chaos her way – the young lady complies, and off the three friends go, university be damned.

...Back in the president, the would-be first lady is first lady no longer, and in fact she is not even a lady or a wife – the ring on her finger is gone, there is no trace of it. Rather, she is a solid, 49.2 kg figure of a woman, dressed in cargo pants (still dyed in stripes) and a leather jacket. The sensible shoes are now well worn and are custom-made, because she is somewhat pigeon-toed by now as well.

As below, so above: Ms. Wildlife Activist the ‘guest lecturer’ sports a Mohawk-style hairdo, complete with two dyed streaks, and a set of earrings in one of her ears (no new lip piercing though, pity). She is speaking with fire and ire, but not really about WG, but what is wrong with the American society in general. Yes, she mentions America’s WG problem, but her attitude towards is basically “it’s every man and woman’s personal business what they weigh, so don’t distract me from my lecture”, something that I can accept. (And the dismayed faces of the hospital’s doctors make me smile).

As I sit back and fade out of the lecture, I can only smile, really. I have removed one colourless, annoying, spendthrift member of society and transformed her into a person that truly makes the American nation great and memorable. A job reasonably well done, if I can say so myself.