Wiki Magic (AP, Bimbo)

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Wiki Magic (AP, Bimbo)

Postby Sen Oluguat » Wed Oct 03, 2018 8:20 pm

Wiki Magic
By Sen Oluguat

Anastasia was still amazed that she had been picked for the prestigious Krystal Hunt Foundation Scholarship for her work on the problem of the topology of algebraic curves and surfaces. In the last week, she had been interviewed by a local news station and an article about her had appeared in the local paper, and a dozen blogs and popular science sites had short blurbs about it. Her friends were probably tired of hearing it by now, but she was still on cloud nine a week later. The last thing her ego needed was something to fan the flames, but when she googled her name for the millionth time trying to see if more had been written on her, she saw it.

She was on Wikipedia! She probably shouldn't have been so excited about this, she knew that anyone could edit it. But she also knew that Wikipedia had a standard of notability - articles about things were taken down if they weren't deemed notable enough. And yet, there it was. Created by an anonymous user three days ago. It was only one sentences long, with a single citation but it was there! She called up her friend Emily.

"Emily, you won't believe it!" Anastasia said excitedly.

Emily didn't hide her exasperation. "Let me guess, you got the Krystal blah blah Scholarship?"

"Well, duh, but guess what? I'm on Wikipedia now! I'll send you the link."

Emily was happy for her friend. She really was. But Anastasia had been practically rubbing her and everyone else's face in it for seven days. It was understandable to be excited, but having a little bit of humility or decorum would also have been appreciated!

Emily opened the page, and looked at the short stub of an article. Sarcasm dripped from her lips. "Wow, you've really made it big now haven't you! Anyways, was that it? I was kind of in the middle of my math homework."

"Yeah, that was everything." Anastasia felt a little deflated. Why wasn't Emily as excited about this as she was?

"Okay, bye Anastasia."

"Uh, bye Emily."

Emily finished up her homework, and then looked again at the page her friend had sent her.

==Anastasia Merritt

**Anastasia Meritt** (born 2000) is the fourteenth recipient of the [[Krystal Hunt Foundation Scholarship]] for her work on [[Hilbert's sixteenth problem]]. [1]

All this fuss about such a short article? Emily kind of wanted to take Anastasia down a peg or two. Just a small, harmless edit wouldn't hurt, right? She hit the "Edit" button and changed the name from Anastasia to Stacy. Emily knew that Anastasia *hated* that nickname - she always felt it was too casual for someone *important* like herself. Emily submitted the changes and smiled. Hopefully, the changes wouldn't be reverted before Anastasia had a chance to see them.

* * *

The next day at school, Emily was 10 minutes late to first period. She walked into a silent room, save for the sound of pencils scribbling furiously on paper. Shit! How had she forgotten that there was a quiz today? She grabbed a quiz from the front of the class and took her usual seat to the left of Anastasia. She didn't know if she'd have the time to catch up. No matter. Plan B, "copy from your smart friend", hadn't failed Emily yet. With a practiced stealth Emily looked over at her friend's paper. Wait a second... Her eyes floated to the top of the paper. Had Anastasia written "Stacy Merritt" at the top of her quiz?

Emily made a mental note to ask Anastasia about that after the quiz was over, and quickly copied her answers - using synonyms here and there and deliberately getting two questions wrong to throw any suspicion off of her. Finally, the bell rang and Emily followed Anastasia out into the hallway.

"Hey, why'd you write 'Stacy' on your paper? Don't you hate that name?" Emily asked.

"Why would I hate that name? It's my name." Stacy said, giving Emily a strange look.

"Uh-huh, Anastasia. Like you didn't put gum in my hair in second grade when I tried calling you 'Stacy.'" Emily said, putting her hands on her hips.

Stacy just stared at her friend, confused. "Anastasia? It's a pretty name, but I've always been Stacy, Emily. Are you okay?"

The wheels in Emily's head started turning. If Anastasia was trying to get back at Emily for vandalizing her page, she sure was going about it in a strange way. Emily decided to nip whatever this was in the bud by apologizing.

"Alright, Anastasia. I'm sorry for editing your Wikipedia page. It was just supposed to be a bit of harmless fun, now can you stop pretending you don't mind being called Stacy!"

Stacy's face turned white when she heard Emily's confession. "What did you do to my page?" She pulled out her phone and navigated to the page and found it exactly as it had been last night. "What *did* you do to my page? Everything looks fine."

Emily looked over her shoulder. The page still read "Stacy Merritt."

"Click 'View History', would you An-, uh, Stacy?" Emily asked.

Stacy clicked the 'View History' button and soon they were both looking at all the edits to the page. All one of them - from when the page was first created four days ago.

Emily was starting to genuinely be wierded out. If this was Anastasia getting back at her, she was doing a great job.

"Hey, uh, Stacy. Could you make an edit to the page? Just add something that's not true, like, say you're the third in line for the British crown."

Stacy said, "No! Why would I vandalize my own page?"

"Please, I want to see something. You can change it right back afterwards."

Stacy still wasn't sure, but she made a few clicks and the change was made. "There, happy?" Stacy asked.

Emily looked confused. "Not yet. We still need to edit your page with something false. I have a theory I need to test out."

"Emily, I already added that I'm third in line for the British crown." Stacy said frustratedly.

"Stacy, I've known that you were a duchess since first grade. We need to edit your page with something that isn't true. What's something good..."

It was then that Stacy noticed what she was wearing. It looked roughly the same as what she had been wearing before, but the cloth was all of a much higher quality. It felt so soft on her skin. And her shoes, instead of being scuffed knockoffs with a fading logo that she had bought for $20 dollars seemed to be the real thing. Stacy's mind raced. She was starting to suspect she knew what Emily was testing out.

"Emily, can you please remove the sentence about me being a princess. I think I know what you're doing and I also want to experiment."

Emily looked worried. "Are you sure? If it works, you won't be-"

"It's fine. Do it!"

Emily took out her phone and removed the sentence about Stacy being a duchess. She hit enter and looked around. Nothing much seemed different.

Emily asked, "Well, did it work? Are you not a duchess anymore?"

Well, her clothes seemed to be back to normal - Stacy felt her heart beating fast. If this was real... She stopped a girl walking besides them. "Excuse me. Am I a duchess?"

The girl scoffed, "No" and sped up to get to her class.

Stacy had to ask one more thing. "Emily, do you remember me being a duchess?"

"Yeah, you've been one your entire life."

"Okay, then I can confirm something for you: my Wikipedia page actually *is* magic. We probably need to experiment a little more, but it seems like only the person who makes an edit remembers how things used to be. For example, I don't remember ever being a duchess, because I made the edit that turned me into one. And you remember me being a duchess because you made the edit that stopped me being one."

"No way!" Emily said excitedly. "This is so cool. Do you realize all the cool stuff we can do with this? If your edits are the reason I remember you always being a duchess, then we could probably turn you into just about any sort of celebrity or famous person! We have to tell Todd and Lydia about this at lunch."

Stacy shook her head. "No, I want to keep this between you and me for now. We can definitely play around with it, but we'll do it subtly."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say, your majesty."

It was hard to tell, but Stacy sensed a little bit more... envy? Was that the emotion? In Emily's voice than before. She had always known Emily had a bit of an inferiority complex, having to compare herself to her friend group: Stacy, the genius, Todd, the charismatic football player, and Lydia, the popular cheerleader, but she wondered if her rewritten memories with 'Duchess Stacy' might not have deepened the problem. Whatever the case might be, Stacy knew that this magic page wasn't a toy, even if she did intend on having a little fun with it.

* * *

At lunch, Stacy and Emily made an excuse to Todd and Lydia about needing to study, and went off to the library.

"Okay, what do you want to do now?" Emily asked excitedly.

"Well, I want to try a few more experiments." Stacy said. "I want to see if this thing can make me older."

She edited the page and changed her birth year from 2000 to 1993, and hit submit. She immediately noticed a difference. The ground was slightly further away from her, and - Her hands went to her breasts.

"Guess I was a late bloomer after all, eh, Emily?" she said smiling. "I need to go look at myself in the mirror!"

Emily followed her friend, nonplussed. She looked exactly the same as always!

Stacy started making poses in the mirror. She felt so grown up and sexy. She was curious about what Emily's memories were.

"So do you always remember me having these killer curves?" Stacy asked.

Emily frowned, "I mean not always, you started really filling out around 7 or 8 years ago. Makes sense, you were already, like, 18 by then."

Stacy scrunched her face in confusion. "So, how do I still know you? Aren't I too old to be your classmate?"

Emily nodded. "Are you okay, Stacy? Yeah, you've always been older than us. You were 13 when we started first grade. I know your memory is still a bit hazy about it, but you got in a pretty bad accident when you were little, you were unconscious for seven years. That was all the news could talk about 'Duchess In a Coma.' Although you told me today that you weren't a duchess before you edited the article, so that part probably didn't actually happen..."

Stacy laughed. The rules of this magic article just kept getting more and more interesting. "Yeah, Emily. I just used the article to make myself older. I was testing it out."

Understanding dawned on Emily's face. "Oh, that explains so much! So does that mean, that no matter what you're going to be a duchess in my memories of you?"

Stacy smiled. "I don't know. I have a lot more things I want to test, but first I want to see what everyone thinks of my new body!" She excitedly left the bathroom, and Emily followed.

* * *

Stacy walked into the lunchroom and found the table she was looking for. As she walked to her intended destination, she was pleased to see a few eyes turn and linger on her. People who wouldn't have given her the time of day before had their eyes fixed on her, but while she was enjoying the new attention, she was most interested to see one person's reaction to her. Emily meanwhile was doing her best to keep a neutral expression on her face, and support her friend. Internally she was trying to submerge how she felt standing next to Stacy, completely overlooked by the eyes around her. Every day was a reminder of how much the world *loved* Stacy and hated her (or worse, ignored her.) It seemed like Stacy always got everything: brains, attention from boys, and even when something magic happened, of course it would happen to Stacy! Emily stopped brooding when she realized where they were walking. She suddenly hoped she was wrong about Stacy's goals in coming here.

Stacy sat down right next to Todd at the lunch table. "Hello, Todd!" She said, subtly brushing her body against him.

Much to Stacy's chagrin, her relationship with Todd had always been strictly platonic. Her flat stick of a body hadn't been enough to attract Todd, but now she had the body of a 25-year-old. And she noticed him blushing.

Todd didn't know what to do. He had noticed Stacy over the years. Of course he had. And to have an older woman, with the naive mind of a girl his age trying to put the moves on him... It was all he could do to hide the erection that started to form. He half-halfheartedly tried to keep up a conversation, but she seemed to be steering the conversation further and further into the realm of innuendo, and Lydia and Emily started to become incredibly uncomfortable.

Finally, after several minutes of conversation that Todd barely paid attention to, Stacy kissed him. He returned the kiss passionately. Lydia and Emily's discomfort reached a fever pitch, and when it looked like one of the teachers was coming over to put a stop to things (for oh so many reasons), they didn't need much more of a reason to quickly excuse themselves from the table. They looked back in time to see the teacher giving the two of them a strict lecture.

Emily was fuming. "Can you believe her?"

Lydia looked disgusted. "Yeah, she's so much *older* than us. It's so weird that she'd put the moves on Todd like that."

Emily shook her head. "No, that's just because of her stupid magic Wikipedia page. That *perfect princess* made herself sexier so she could seduce Todd! How could she? She knows I like him. We need to get revenge!"

Lydia was having trouble following the conversation. "Magic Wikipedia page?"

Emily had already taken out her phone and started adding sentences. "'Stacy is a dumb slut. She didn't actually win any stupid scholarship, and she's not attracted to TODD! She's actually into much older men.'" She hit submit. "There!"

Lydia looked over her shoulder. "Emily, did you make a Wikipedia page to pick on that retarded chick who was held back seven years in a row?"

Emily put her phone back into her pocket, and refused to say another word. She went back to the lunch room - Stacy was no where in sight. "Where's that bitch now?"

Lydia shook her head. "Probably in detention for flirting with the teacher again. Do you think the rumors about what her and Mr. Ferns get up to during lunch are true?"

Emily gave a malicious smile. "I don't know and I don't care."

* * *

After lunch, Emily had geography with Stacy. She was eager to see the lows she had taken her back-stabbing "friend" to. She was not disappointed.

Stacy was wearing an outfit that was barely outside of the school dress code: a skirt *just* slightly shorter than was allowed, a pink v-neck shirt that gave a hints of cleavage and peaks of her midriff as she moved, and more make-up than Emily had ever seen her wear. But her clothing wasn't the most impressive change. Stacy always used to be the kind of person you could talk to for five minutes and realize you were talking to a smart cookie - her word choice, her facial expression and her piercing eyes all contributed to this. However, the first thing that Emily was noticed was the airy expression Stacy had as she switched her blank stare to whatever caught her attention in a particular moment.

"Hello, Stacy," Emily said. "What's on your mind?"

Stacy put her pen to her lips and started nibbling on the tip as she thought of an answer. After what felt like an eternity, she said something.

"Well, um, I had a *really*, like, nice lunch detention! Mr. Ferns really knows how to, like, punish me for being a bad girl. But I guess I wasn't, y'know, actually thinking about that when you asked your question..."

Emily guessed she probably didn't think about much these days.

Stacy made Emily jump with an excited remark. "Oh! I totally forgot. I've got some, like, gum, do you want any?"

Emily knew that Mr. Oglemeyer didn't allow gum in his class and politely declined. Stacy shrugged and popped in a piece, and was soon hard at work on it. Class started not long after, and the teacher walked in. He started handing back papers, and when he got to Stacy's desk, Emily took pleasure in seeing the 5% written in red ink on the top.

"I guess I'll be seeing you in detention, Miss Merritt." Mr. Oglemeyer winked. "Please spit out your gum."

Stacy acted offended, "You know I never, like, spit!" and she swallowed her gum while winking back.

Mr. Oglemeyer seemed a little distracted as he handed out the rest of the papers, and kept sneaking glances back at Stacy. Finally, he regained a modicum of composure and started teaching the class. The rest of the day passed in much the same manner. In the last class of the day, Emily was happy to note that Stacy was copying off of *her* during a quiz, and when they left for the day Stacy pulled her aside.

"Hey, Emily. After I get through with my awesome, like, detention with Mr. Oglemeyer, would it be cool if I stopped by your house for some studying?"

Emily was curious to see what Stacy now called studying, and said it would be okay.

* * *

When Stacy arrived, Emily noticed two things. First, she had changed into a barely-there outfit now that she was out of school. What little fabric was there seemed to strain against her perky breasts and butt, threatening to expose her if she made a wrong move. Second, her makeup looked rather like she had gotten something on her face and sloppily wiped it off. Emily pointed this out, and Stacy was happy to reapply her makeup right there in the living room.

With her makeup reapplied, she pulled out her textbook and handed it to Emily.

"Alright, Emily. Can you, like, read the current chapter to me?" Stacy said, smiling.

Emily handed the textbook back to her. "Why don't you try? Just for a bit."

Stacy pouted. "But, you read so much, like, faster than me! All those big words are so confusing, but when you say them they sort of make sense."

Emily gave her best impression of an encouraging smile, trying to hide the sadistic glee she had at her friend's new state. "You'll never learn if you don't do some stuff yourself. Haven't you been held back eight times?"

"It was only seven times," Stacy mumbled, "And with all the favors I do for the teachers, I could totally have graduated by now! School has just always been the best place to find older hotties, y'know?"

Emily didn't know, but she continued to insist that Stacy read some of the textbook.

"Alright, alright! I'll, like, try," Stacy opened the book and gave the most serious expression she could manage in her new state. "*ahem* The num-ber of meet-oh, uh, meet-oh-chond - what's this word?"

Emily looked at it. "Mitochondria."

"Mit-o-chon-rya in a kell, uh, cell can vary widely by orgasm-"

"Organism." Emily offered.

"Oh," Stacy looked disappointed, "organism, tisoo-eh, and cell type. For in-stance, red blood cells have no meet-oh, wait I just, like, said this one? What was it again?"

"Mitochondria."

Emily only made her read two paragraphs, but when it was done she almost regretted not filming it to enjoy again later. Afterwards she read the textbook out loud for Stacy, until she noticed that she was deeply absorbed in typing something on her phone.

"Earth to Stacy," Emily said. Stacy didn't respond. "Earth to Stacy." She clapped her hands, which finally got Stacy's attention. "Stacy, you're not going to learn anything if you're not paying attention."

"Nuh-uh," Stacy said. "I totally, like heard about this. You can learn things by oslamosis, just by, like, being around them."

"I think you mean osmosis, and I don't think learning works that way." Emily said not even hiding her smile.

Emily actually did need to do her homework, so at a certain point she just started ignoring Stacy which seemed to suit her just fine. When she was done, Stacy asked to copy her homework and Emily reluctantly let her. When she had finished slowly writing (and making the occasionally mistake, erasing it and rewriting it) she looked satisfied at all the "work" she had done.

Emily was happy for her to finally finish. "Hey, Stacy. I was thinking about what you said earlier. That school is the best place to find older hotties. Far be it from me to help you, but why haven't you tried to get an older guy to be your sugar daddy?"

Stacy looked confused, "Sugar daddy?"

"You know, a guy who supports you financially, and you just have to pretend to be his girlfriend and fuck him once in a while? It could be a 'career path' if you wanted to finally graduate."

Stacy squirmed with joy, "That sounds, like, great! You're a genius, I can't believe I never thought of something like that."

* * *

Stacy took Emily's advice and found a horny old man who worshiped her and showered her with money. She was still seducing teachers on the side, but only so she could get C's in her classes and finally graduate. (Emily didn't have the heart to tell her that she could probably just drop out at this point.)

After a month, Emily felt like she had had her fun. It was fun seeing her formerly smart friend struggle, but she knew she had gone a *little* too far and needed to change her back eventually. However, when she tried to find Stacy's Wikipedia page, all she found was a link to a discussion. The discussion appeared to be between several editors agreeing that the page was just vandalism and should thus be deleted, especially because there didn't actually seem to be anyone notable named Stacy Merritt. Emily looked at the discussion in horror. She had gotten over her anger at Stacy, but now she was going to be stuck this way!

The only small comfort Emily could give herself was that Stacy seemed to be more happy now than she had ever been.
Last edited by Sen Oluguat on Mon Oct 15, 2018 8:28 am, edited 7 times in total.
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Re: Wiki Magic (AP, Bimbo)

Postby Theacds » Wed Oct 03, 2018 10:57 pm

God damn! What a good story!!!

Do you take criticism?!
Someone sent me a note on DeviantART sayin' they missed me, so if there's somehow any fans out there I wanna let you know I'm writing all sorts of cracy shit at https://www.deviantart.com/theacds !!
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Re: Wiki Magic (AP, Bimbo)

Postby Sen Oluguat » Thu Oct 04, 2018 5:42 am

Theacds wrote:God damn! What a good story!!!

Do you take criticism?!


Thanks!

Yeah, I'm definitely open to criticism.
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Re: Wiki Magic (AP, Bimbo)

Postby Theacds » Thu Oct 04, 2018 10:25 am

Alright, you're a busy man so I'll make this quick!

Your story is good when its destiny is greatness!! The concept is there, the foundation is there, but it trips on minor errors that would've make it great. Specifically, the transition between scenes, the building of each scene, and the ending of the story.

* * *

Stacy sat down right next to Todd at the lunch table. "Hello, Todd!" She said, subtly brushing her body against him.


This transition fails, I claim, on two levels. The first is that it breaks the reader's flow and the second in that it doesn't get greedy. In the context of the story, this transition gets a bit more context and padding two paragraphs later and onwards, but there's this very slight scramble or eyebrow raise in that very small section in between. And while that isn't gonna break the story too hard, it doesn't do you any favors either. The setting itself, Stacey's new body or mannerisms, what Emily might be feeling or why she's watching can be woven in right there for maximum over value!! After all, this was already done further up the page.

* * *

The next day at school, Emily was 10 minutes late to first period. She walked into a silent room, save for the sound of pencils scribbling furiously on paper. Shit! How had she forgotten that there was a quiz today? She grabbed a quiz from the front of the class and took her usual seat to the left of Anastasia. She didn't know if she'd have the time to catch up. No matter. Plan B, "copy from your smart friend", hadn't failed Emily yet. With a practiced stealth Emily looked over at her friends paper. Wait a second... Her eyes floated to the top of the paper. Had Anastasia written "Stacy Merritt" at the top of her quiz?


This first transition gives what's going on, what Emily's feeling, and guides the reader into the next part wonderfully! It doesn't have any minor breaks in flow and it adds to the story. Unlike most of your dialogue description!

Don't get me wrong! I'm a hyper greedy fucker when it comes to cramming content into any of my stories. Though, from that bias, I say you're sacrificing too much with the way you describe most of your characters!

"Guess I was a late bloomer after all, eh, Emily?" she said smiling. "I need to go look at myself in the mirror!"

Emily followed her friend, nonplussed. She looked exactly the same as always!

Stacy started making poses in the mirror. She felt so grown up and sexy. She was curious about what Emily's memories were.

"So do you always remember me having these killer curves?" Stacy asked.

Emily frowned, "I mean not always, you started really filling out around 7 or 8 years ago. Makes sense, you were already, like, 18 by then."


This being one of many times that it's Emily Said Blank or Stacy Thought Blank. This doesn't break the story, but I, Theacds, claim that it comes very close!! Even without the argument of more creatively describing each action, thought, or word, there's just not enough for my horny af self to latch onto. Mentally, I'm not seeing titty or downgrading or reality bending but, instead, the vague outline of these characters talking monotone in a vacuum. Which is a tragedy! Your dialogue ain't so bad!! Increase the power level of your descriptions to match and I feel this fares waaaaay better!!!

My advice to improve this would be to consider every line, every word as a limited resource and to use every one as best as you can to get across exactly what you wanna get across. Just like the ending, your moment-to-moment dialogue doesn't get greedy enough!

Because after reading through what I consider to be a fantastic first draft I'm expecting a lot of raw, half-baked, but strong ideas that you'll inevitably return to and improve. And while the name change, age progression, and curve increase were all very well set due to how the dialogue and scene around them supplemented each to be more than the sum of their two paragraph descriptions, the bimbo transformation at the end doesn't get that same love. I, of course, come from the bias of love, love, loving bimbofication might have a stronger opinion on this than most, but the title chose to use AP, BIMBO. Other people may come in to this expecting one thing and leaving unsatisfied.

I don't give a shit about my readers since everything I write these days is for me or my friends, but if you're the type to worry about that then I recommend changing one or the other!! Otherwise, if you're satisfied with the final paragraphs, then let's transition to the wrap up.

First and foremost, lemme be clear that my writing is very, very scattered. I'm an amateur in every sense of the word giving you my opinions on your piece. Perhaps unnecessarily, I state that you don't have to make any changes. If this piece is everything you've ever wanted, then more power to ya, brother. We all write different things, and what I call a failing might be a feature to you.

If you do wanna change it up on the redraft, I say to start each scene stronger, give readers more on the dialogue descriptions, and greatly increase the ending, but that's totes your call. :bigheart: :kissyface: :peacesign:
Someone sent me a note on DeviantART sayin' they missed me, so if there's somehow any fans out there I wanna let you know I'm writing all sorts of cracy shit at https://www.deviantart.com/theacds !!
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Re: Wiki Magic (AP, Bimbo)

Postby Sen Oluguat » Fri Oct 05, 2018 2:50 am

Thanks for all the advice, Theacds! I reworked the start of the lunch room scene, and greatly expanded the bimbo part of the story.
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Re: Wiki Magic (AP, Bimbo)

Postby Theacds » Fri Oct 05, 2018 11:09 am

Sen Oluguat wrote:Thanks for all the advice, Theacds! I reworked the start of the lunch room scene, and greatly expanded the bimbo part of the story.


I super anticipate the Rising: Revengeance 2 draft of this wonderful story!!
Someone sent me a note on DeviantART sayin' they missed me, so if there's somehow any fans out there I wanna let you know I'm writing all sorts of cracy shit at https://www.deviantart.com/theacds !!
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Re: Wiki Magic (AP, Bimbo)

Postby Junketh71 » Sat Oct 06, 2018 4:56 pm

This is a very good read. Thanks for sharing!
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Re: Wiki Magic (AP, Bimbo)

Postby Theacds » Sun Oct 14, 2018 1:16 am

Bravo, bravo!! It took me such a long time to realize this had been edited from before, but the end result was so wonderful that I don't even mourn the time I wasted!

I eagerly await any future projects and will most definitely be spamming other people with this absolute treasure.
Someone sent me a note on DeviantART sayin' they missed me, so if there's somehow any fans out there I wanna let you know I'm writing all sorts of cracy shit at https://www.deviantart.com/theacds !!
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