The Knight Maid

[Kappa Evil Foot]

(Prologue)

On the outskirts of Orchard, a tiny village up in the mountains, a young maiden, dressed in a red hood, cheerfully humming a lively tune, gracefully skips around the forest with a basket filled with freshly baked muffins.

They’re banana nut, her Granny’s favorite. No baked treat could compare to the warm, buttery crust. Red’s Granny always looked forward to the weekly treat and Red loved the quality time with the woman who raised her.

Tonight, however, will be different.

Crossing the ruins of an Ancient Elven Civilization, as always, the young woman came across two souls by the wrecked marble columns against the temple, where Red was to meet her grandmother.

Instead, there was a Knight of the Bloodthorn, whom claim dominion over this land, hovering above a black wolf, with his sword held high in triumph.

Red’s eyes were widened in shock, her heart pounding, she couldn’t believe this sight to be true!

The Knight, with long locks of blonde hair, a chiseled chin, and broad shoulders, drenched in sweat and blood, immediately took attention to the young maiden. He’d never seen a girl with such lovely red hair, vibrant green eyes, and lush, kissable lips.

“Salutations, fair maiden, what brings you out in the woods alone?” The Knight smiled. “ It’s a dangerous place, you should know, how fortunate you’ve arrived after I’ve slain this beast. You could’ve easily been its dinner!” He laughed.

“Her.” Red clarified.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Her.” Red repeated.

“Is she now?” The Knight smirked, his stained white armor centered at the maiden, grinning while reaching for her hand to kiss. He thought it’d be charming.

But Red refused to be touched. Smacking his hand, Red wouldn’t let that man touch a hair on her pretty, little head!

“Why so cold? I’ve saved you from a wretched fate. You act as if I’m a murderer!”

“You are.” Red muttered, lowering her head and clenching her fists.

She couldn’t look away at the wolf’s corpse. It made tears pour down her soft cheeks, she could hardly breathe. All she wanted was to collapse on the floor, wailing in anguish. But she couldn’t, not with him around.

“Are you alright, young maiden? You’re scared, aren’t you?” The Knight reasoned. “ There’s no need to worry, you’re in no danger, I can easily escort you to Rose Castle. After all, if I can slay a Black Wolf Demon, there’s very few who can stop me.”

“Are you sure?” Little Red Riding Hood glared. “What about her cub?”

[Matt L.]

I always read your work on the interactive story forum and I was hoping you would some day knuckle down and write a piece for this page. Excellent start.

Cheers, Matt

[Kappa Evil Foot]

(Thanks, Matt, I really appreciate your kind words. Your stories really inspire me. They’re so much fun to read. I like this form of writing. I usually do poetry, I feel like this is a fun way to leave my comfort zone and express my other interests. Hope this story comes out okay. I’m going in a weird direction, but I’m excited about it. Took an English class this semester that talked an awful lot about Fairy Tales. And there’s so many about Little Red Riding Hood. Had me thinking, “I’d like her to be a badass.” And also. “Holy shit, Donkey Skin is some messed up shit, why would anyone complain about Game of Thrones!” Anyways, I’m really excited about this story. Really going for the creative route. Hope it flows okay. I’m switching to first person now, cause I wanna flip it around and see if that works.)

Um, hello? Hi! Uh, can... can you read this okay? Yes? No?

Please, say yes!

Uhh, sorry, hope that didn’t sound too needy. I’m just kinda new at magical writing and I get nervous pretty easily.

I’d be so embarrassed if my first book didn’t come out right!

My name’s Wilma Quiverquill, um, a Bloodthorn Knight of Rose Castle, known as the Rose Bard, uh, but everyone calls me Willy...

Please, don’t make jokes about it! Please! I’m blushing red just thinking about all the gross things my comrades say! They’re all a bunch of meanies!

Anyways, I really, really, really hope you liked my introduction... or maybe you didn’t? Guh! I should stop doing that, sorry, I... um, I can get really insecure!

Time to be professional, I can do it!

All of this takes place (300 years) ago in the Kingdom of Garden. A new king has been crowned, a crusade has been declared to purify the lands of the wicked, and the banquet hall of Rose Castle is lively during a chilly autumn night.

Every table has massive slabs of salted meat, dozens of mugs filled to the brim with the sweetest of alcohols, and vibrant sounds of music played till the last man drops.

Is... is that an okay exposition? I do hope so!

Now, let me start the story... is that okay?

Um... A Massive man, dressed in a burgundy flannel, 300 pounds of bulk, nearly 7 ft in height, hairy as a boar with teeth as gnarly, lumbers over a salad. With a sour look on his face, trying to keep his diet, there appears to be a little girl, with long blonde locks, dressed in a frilly blue dress, pouting while sitting on his left, roughly kicking her tiny legs and making the table shake.

No one dares get involved. I simply watch from afar, eating my chocolate cake and avoiding eye contact from my fellow knights. I... I really don’t like eye contact, it makes me so nervous!

But, uh, back to the story...

“Be bratty all ya want, I ain’t doing it.” The Lumberjack Knight, wielder of The War Axe, said firmly. “You can make your own damn plate!”

“I don’t wanna!” The Little Girl huffed. “Make it for me, now, Daddy!”

“Goldilocks, I ain’t your pops and another thing, you’re 36 years old! Quit acting eight and cut yer own meat like an adult!”

It’s important to note that the Bear Knight, physically stronger than any beast on earth, is a half dwarf and still considered a child by their standards. But not human, of course. By our standards, she’s been an adult for quite some time. She’s also only six years younger than the Lumberjack, if you’d believe it, yet keeps the delusion that he should treat her like his child.

As she began her tantrum by rolling on the dirty floor and stomping her tiny feet, a middle aged woman with a curvy figure, dressed in black, shimmied her wide hips over with a well prepared plate.

She always smells like cookies, her lips are always lush, and her butt is just so bi...

That... that doesn’t sound too inappropriate, does it? Granted, um, I do favor women... Mature beauties with bouncy... Ahh! Why I am I saying this? Sorry!

Anyways, with a smile on her lightly wrinkled face, she brushed the fading red hair from her glossy yellow eyes and lightly tapped Goldilocks on the shoulder.

“Here you go, sweetie-pie!” The Gingerbread Knight said kindly with her sultry voice.

“Thanks, Mama.” Goldilocks sniffed as the Lumberjack cringed.

He could feel the woman’s eyes examining his muscular build. Ginger wanted nothing more than to get a taste of his forest of a chest, but he was not interested. Not one bit, she’s was just too... eccentric would be a nice way of saying it. So, I’ll say that!

As the two sat next to him, a handsome young man came their way with a chalice of wine and two gorgeous maidens on both sides... which I was jealous about for a number of reasons.

“Tis, Tis, Tis.” The Handsome Lady’s Man shook his head. “You should help your wife more, Jack. Before she realizes she can do better!”

“We aren’t married, Elizabeth.” The Lumberjack said bluntly while swallowing his tasteless meal.

This upset Goldilocks, Ginger, and the Pretty Boy.

“What did you call me?” The Handsome Knight glared.

“Struck a nerve, Eli?” Jack smirked.

“You Hairy Brute, I’m more of a man than you’ll ever be!”

“Let me eat my dinner.” Jack sighed. “Please? It’s awful enough I’m on a diet.”

“And I don’t get that.” Ginger wrapped her arms against his massive bicep. “I think you’re perfect already, Jackie.”

Goldilocks nodded.

“Yeah, you’re like the coolest Knight in Roseshire! Besides me... and Mama... and Bo Peep, Piper, and...”

The Lumberjack started to tightly squeeze the Blonde’s cheeks with his massive hands, making her loudly whine like a child.

“Either get over the weird daddy complex or let me eat my salad in peace!”

This was a typical night at Roseshire. Nothing out of the ordinary. I was actually headed for bed... till I saw a Knight in white, stained in blood, come through the doors.

He had the Sunflower Crest, the New Royal Family, during this period of time, on the center of his chest. Everyone was silent in awe as the charming warrior, the epitome of heroism, introduced himself as a new member of our court.

“Tell me, where is the Lord of Roseshire?” Sir Anthony Sunflower, nephew of the King, shouted loudly with a grin on his face.

“Lord?” The Pretty Boy Knight raised an eyebrow.

Sir Anthony nodded.

“Uncle has told me great things of him. They fought in the war, you know? I’m quite honored to have my first post for a man of such respectable caliber!”

Everyone began to laugh. It was very funny, he had no idea!

Tugging on his cape, I got the Knight’s attention. He stared at me with his blue eyes, and I almost ran away from fear. Most men terrify me. Besides The Lumberjack, I rarely talk to men.

“What is it, maid?” He glared at me, his face lightly blushing from all the laughter directed at him.

Many of the Knights were offended. I’m a Knight, clearly, but Sir Anthony didn’t see that.

“Um, there isn’t a Lord of Roseshire...” I mumbled.

Sir Anthony laughed.

“Surely, you jest. I’ve been told he’s a skilled warrior, The Red Hood of Roseshire, a swift assassin who hides in the trees with a dagger and an appetite for blood!

“Well... most of that is right.” The Lumberjack scratched his hairy neck. “The thing is, The Red Hood is actually...”

And that’s when she stomped in, a dead wolf in her arms, trembling in pain with tears pouring down her face.

Every Bloodthorn Knight of Roseshire, servant, and squire, were silent and paused at the sight. All, Except Sir Anthony.

“Wow, you made it here on your own?” Anthony smirked. “And with my conquest slowing you down? Impressive, young maiden.”

There was a dark aura surrounding the girl, her teeth were grinding, and her eyes were blackened with the lust for murder clearly etched deep within.

“Ginger, get my dress.” She demanded, and Ginger complied, which confused Sir Anthony.

“Jack... dig a grave, please.” She mustered, and Jack complied as he took the corpse away, which offended the Sunflower Knight.

“Excuse me, you’re not actually going to bury a demon, are you?”

Red nodded.

“Ridiculous! Do you have any idea how long it took me to kill it?”

“Her.” Red corrected.

“Yes, her.” Anthony rolled his eyes. “ It took hours, you naive child. Hours! I nearly died at the claws of that ghastly bitch!”

Goldilocks was hidden behind me, I was trembling in fear, and Pretty Boy was shaking his head.

“I’m insulted you’d bury that... that thing! It’s disrespectful! Where is Lord Roseshire? He couldn’t possibly stand for this!”

Red began to laugh a wicked laugh, an angry, hateful laugh. It still brings chills down my spine just thinking about it!

“You’re right, SHE won’t stand for this.” Red devilishly smiled.

Ginger had returned with a traditional maid outfit dangling in her hands, Red was grinning and staring at Anthony head to toe, and I was worried this would end horribly.

“You’ll make a fine new addition to the castle.” Red said coldly. “A fine addition, indeed. We certainly need the extra help.”

“I... I don’t understand what’s happening.” Sir Anthony shrugged.

“You will.” Red laughed. “Believe me, you’ll understand soon enough!”