Andrea's Downgrading & Degradation (DG)

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Re: Andrea's Downgrading & Degradation (DG)

Postby Devomax2005 » Thu Jan 10, 2019 12:54 pm

Sorry to all of you who will assume there’s been an update - it’s the most annoying thing ever I know!

Just wondering if you’re near another chapter Violet-C? I’m checkin in twice a day :)

Jen x
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Re: Andrea's Downgrading & Degradation (DG)

Postby summertime » Thu Jan 10, 2019 1:02 pm

Devomax2005 wrote:Sorry to all of you who will assume there’s been an update - it’s the most annoying thing ever I know!

Just wondering if you’re near another chapter Violet-C? I’m checkin in twice a day :)

Jen x


Very vexing, my excitement has been quashed :shock:
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Re: Andrea's Downgrading & Degradation (DG)

Postby Devomax2005 » Thu Jan 10, 2019 1:03 pm

summertime wrote:
Devomax2005 wrote:Sorry to all of you who will assume there’s been an update - it’s the most annoying thing ever I know!

Just wondering if you’re near another chapter Violet-C? I’m checkin in twice a day :)

Jen x


Very vexing, my excitement has been quashed :shock:


I know I hate myself too. But I’m in need here...

Sorry x
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Re: Andrea's Downgrading & Degradation (DG)

Postby Violet-C » Fri Jan 11, 2019 5:11 am

New Chapter 9

By 6.30 after spending less than I would probably have spent purchasing a new pair of shoes or certainly a handbag in the past, I caught sight of my new image reflected in a shop window as I headed towards the pub. I looked positively vicious and so very young. I wore a vintage biker jacket over my old black hoody, with a red tartan pleated micro-mini, fishnet tights that I’d deliberately torn and Doc Marten 11 hole boots. I completed the look with a black rubber backpack with spikes on it to hold my purse small makeup bag and phone. I’d never felt so different to the old Andrea in my entire life. In fact, looking at the image I couldn’t think of myself as Andrea any longer and would introduce myself as Andie from now on, which somehow seemed more appropriate and less sweet than “Andrea”.

To further my transformation, I walked into the pub and ordered myself a pint of lager, something I would never have normally done and found a seat in the corner waiting for Suzy as some thrash metal played in the background.

I flicked through my i-phone looking at old images of Simon and me and some of my old work colleagues on nights’ out. I took a selfie and compared it with the old images. Other than the small beauty spot on my left cheek I was looking at the image of an entirely different person as I took a large gulp of the ice-cold lager, listening to the clunk of the heavy steel rings that I had just purchased against the thin glass. I wasn’t much of a drinker, but it tasted fantastic, my first alcohol in over three months.

I looked around at my surroundings and other than few suits, realised that I didn't actually look terribly out of place. Most people were in leather and denim, with a Goth couple across the room who seemed to briefly throw me an approving glance before returning to their conversation, The only people looking at me with any interest were the two young casually dressed guys at the bar and I wasn’t sure f they fancied me or looked at me thinking “What a dog, why has she done that to herself and why would she want to walk around looking like that?”

I then noticed Suzy looking around not instantly recognizing me when I smiled and waved.

She walked over and greeted me with a very affectionate hug and the words

“Wow, that was unexpected, you look amazing, if possibly a little out there, oh and by the way if no-one’s mentioned it the look really suits you and you have great hair” she said laughing.

“Thanks” I replied, “Let me get you a drink” and I headed to the bar to get her the girlie large glass of Chardonnay that she requested, making me feel even more like the rebellious teenager with my pint of lager. We were soon talking like long lost friends. She told me about discovering she was a lesbian when she had a crush on a girl a few years older than her in school although she didn’t then have the courage to do anything about it and that after a few failed relationships with boys, aged 22 just over two years ago she admitted to herself that she should be open about her sexuality and since then had had a number of girlfriends but was very much single at present.

I told her a heavily edited version of my life story, telling her I was bisexual which was probably a lie, having never had a single gay relationship in my life, but I felt in need of a friend so decided to be vague on some of that. I did however tell her that I had just split with a boyfriend without letting on how serious it had been and I admitted to being a sub, which went down well as she said she’d always been the Dom in any of her previous relationships. However I didn’t feel ready to tell me about my desires to be completely humiliated and imprisoned. I didn't want to scare her off at this stage and have her thinking she was having a drink with a raving lunatic!

As the evening wore on and by the third round of drinks, it began to realise that she clearly fancied me and was in the process of chatting me up.

When I told her I was approaching my 27th birthday, she practically fell off her chair as she’d put me down as being 21 or 22 at most. I felt flattered and amazed that the new image and weight loss actually made me seem so young and vulnerable.

It soon dawned on me that my recent self enforced abstinence from alcohol, coupled with my weight loss and my choice of drink in lager was hitting me and I was more than a little tipsy. I also realized that I was in no fit state to return to Simon that night even if I’d wanted to. I don’t know whether Suzy saw this as an opportunity to take advantage of me or whether she was simply being a good Samaritan but she suggested we go back to her flat and I could crash for the night. I agreed and before I realized what I was doing we were sitting next to each other on a Northern Line holding hands. Where exactly was this heading I wondered.

We got back to her small flat and she ordered takeaway pizza saying that I needed fattening up and with some food inside me started to sober up slightly. I hinted that I was knackered and pretended to not know where I was going to sleep when she kissed me full on the lips and led me to her bedroom. I paused asking to use some of her cleanser and looking back at me in the mirror was a hollow eyed pale skinned punk with a severe case of smudged eye-shadow. I really looked like the sort of person most people would either cross the road to avoid or take pity on thinking I was some young hopeless runaway. I really did look so terribly young and frail. I wiped some of the black stains from around my eyes and shortly afterwards I enjoyed my first genuine sensual lesbian experience. She looked at my tiny body and was clearly very turned on by my pierced nipples and used her tongue expertly on them and on my increasingly moist pussy. After some fantastic pure escapist love-making I awoke some time during the night with my left arm draped over her lovingly warm body. For the first time in a long-time I felt totally at ease with the world whilst my mind went over what had just happened and how I was now a completely different woman to the one I was just a few short months ago. “What next?” I asked myself.

Soon after, I got up, pulled on my black knickers and dirty T-shirt and made Suzy a coffee, which I returned to bed with, for some further erotic kisses and cuddles. She left for work soon after trusting me to clean up and let myself out whenever I was ready and telling me to text or call whenever I wanted to meet.

After showering and tidying up the place I got myself dressed in what would be my new uniform. The hoody, scuffed leather jacket, tartan mini, ripped tights and my Doc Martin boots that I had already fallen in love with. I plastered on the palest foundation and made up my eyes as black and heavy as possible and added a deep purple lipstick. Coupled with my pierced septum I looked hot in a scarily alternative way and a million miles away from the professional sleek Andrea of a few months ago. There was no escaping the fact that I had effectively become an entirely different person. I wasn’t sure if I was straight or gay, a loving sub or a depraved slave.

I had no idea how I was going to spend the day or more importantly spend the next night or even the rest of my life as I took one last look at my new reflection in Suzy’s bathroom mirror.

I closed her front door behind me and made my way along a typically suburban London high street in an area I was totally unfamiliar with. I bought myself a newspaper I decided on The Sun as something that seemed far more appropriate to my new image than The Guardian that I would usually read. Also, having been confined by my own choice I didn’t really know much of what had been happening in the world recently, not that I was going to find out much about real news from The Sun. I did however learn about Celebrity Big Brother and a television star’s gay affair!
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Re: Andrea's Downgrading & Degradation (DG)

Postby garfieldcat » Fri Jan 11, 2019 11:07 am

Nice new chapter!
Very different from the previous ones, but it makes the story even more enjoyable - can't be all kinks all the time I guess :D
Thank you!
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Re: Andrea's Downgrading & Degradation (DG)

Postby Violet-C » Fri Jan 18, 2019 6:57 am

Chapter 10

I went into a coffee shop that was largely deserted when two young mums arrived with their babies, both dressed just how I imagine I would have been if I’d been the professional young mum. New tight fitting jeans, ballet pumps and t-shirts under nice fitted leather and suede jackets. They tried not to stare at me but couldn't help themselves. I smiled sweetly back and they briefly did the same before averting their gaze as soon as possible to chat away and dote on their young babies. “They probably feel they have such perfect lives” I thought to myself wondering if they’d ever put themselves into a single edgy or dangerous situation as was becoming something of a habit for me. They probably had husbands who worked in finance or property, probably exactly as I could have had until I chose to throw it all away! I took a big sip of coffee, grabbed my black rubber backpack and stormed out. I could feel tears welling up inside and I just had to get out rather than sit there being stared at as they ran down my face.

I walked for miles in what I thought was the direction of the West End gradually pulling myself together and holding back the tears. I saw a bus approaching, heading toward Tottenham Court Road and simply decided to get on. I could spend time walking around Soho where I would now appear to fit right in.

I sat on the top floor of the bus, day-dreaming and going over in my head what had gone on the night before and whether there was a position for either Simon or Suzy in my life from now on. My flat was rented out for another couple of months at least and whilst there was nothing actually stopping me going back to live in Simon’s place, how would I fit back into that life. I no longer looked the part of a property developer and I’m not sure potential clients would be convinced that I was likely to have similar tastes to them in terms of décor when they looked at me, the seriously alternative slightly androgynous looking girl with the septum ring.

With regards to Suzy, she was sweet and seemed genuine, but did I really want a lesbian relationship and I had no idea if she was used to one night stands with girls and in her mind I might just be another ship passing in the night.

Getting off the bus I wandered through Soho looking at some of the slightly alternative shops that still operated there, but the on-going gentrification of even this part of London was very obvious.

I nervously stepped into one of the rougher pubs in Soho and ordered myself a pint of lager and proceeded to lose some change in one of the fruit machines and before long found myself in conversation with two Goth guys probably of a similar age to me and one of their girlfriends. I soon realized that I was slightly out of my depth when the conversation changed to the bands and music that they like. As my actual tastes were far too mainstream for the image I now presented to the world, but they didn't seem overly suspicious and after a few beers we were all quite drunk together. They were on their way to see some band I’d never heard of later that evening and were starting early on getting in the mood. I thought to myself that after a few more drinks they wouldn't be able to stand let alone enjoy a band.

The girl Debbie was determined to get a tattoo and we all followed along. It was obviously either too much beer or my on-going need to change but as Debbie got a most horrific skull tattooed on her left shoulder, I soon found myself lying on my back on the couch next to her.

I couldn't blame the tattooist for objecting but I finally convinced him to tattoo five letters across my stomach just above my belly button in the most amateurish prison style way he could.

The letters were” s L a v E” in different sizes and fonts and not even in a straight line or quite centred on my navel. I could tell that the tattoo artist looked at me as if I was quite mad and probably thought that she’d never done such poor quality work before, but as he wrapped the clingfilm around my waste I could feel an enormous weight lifting off me as if I’d finally made the real change I needed and by embracing my desire so publicly I was somehow free to live exactly as I wanted under my complete control. It was a feeling that was hard to describe but I felt an almost chemical high.

I was unsure as to where I was going to spend the night and rather reluctantly headed back to Simon’s riverside apartment not quite knowing what reception would await me. I let myself in and he was sitting at his desk typing away at his laptop.

“I was really worried about you” he began.

“Really?” I replied. “I don’t actually see any missed calls or messages. I rather get the feeling that you’ve had your fun transforming and humiliating me and now I’m surplus to requirements!”

“Andrea, you know that’s not true and I didn’t make you into the punk that’s standing in front of me. I loved your long hair and heels, I thought you were so sexy. But you chose this and I let you do it because I loved you and thought it would make you happy. Nothing was forced on you as you well know” he calmly explained.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be blaming you. I’m fucked up and I’ve fucked us up. I blame myself for this stupid crazed fantasy I had in my head, but look at me I can’t go back to being nice sweet Andrea anymore. I’m a different person now and look at this” I said unzipping my hoodie to show off my new artwork
across my stomach.

“Oh shit Andrea” he exclaimed “What the fuck have you done, is that permanent?”

“Yes it is. It says who I am and if I’m not slave I’m Andie from now on, there is no Andrea anymore” as I stomped off into the bathroom to admire myself in the mirror.

I stood there looking at myself in my torn fishnets with this strange creature that I still hadn’t grown used to looking back at me and I would be lying if I said I wondered if I wasn’t making the biggest mistake of my life. What was I doing to myself.

I returned to Simon and asked “Could I stay here tonight?”

“Andrea!” “Andie” I corrected him.

“This is still your home even if I’m the legal owner and you can stay here as long as you like. In fact I would still like to think of us as a couple and I still love you, even if this new image might take some getting used to”

“Thank you, that’s very sweet, but at present I’d like to stay in the spare room if you don’t mind and if we are over or if I’m cramping your style please just give me enough notice so I can sort my shit out”

“If that’s what you really want of course, but I still want to be with you”

I kissed him softly on the lips and thought I could just sense the slightest hint of him pulling back as the cold steel of my septum ring touched his upper lip.

“Thank you” I replied. “I’ll sort out my clothes and probably need to but a few more cheap items that better suit my new look’

“Are you saying that you don’t think your business suits will quite work with the new look” he joked

“I think we both know that’s the case” I replied

“By the way I love the boots” he commented as I walked into what had been our double bedroom to decide what if anything I could get away with from my old wardrobe.

The next few weeks seemed to drift by endlessly I cleaned the flat, I purchased some cheap clothes and visited Suzy who regularly shaved the back and sides of my head. I had become used to my new image and lived in micro minis, fishnets and chunky boots. I also added a few more piercings to my ears. I also walked straight past a girl that I’d sat next to in my old job for over 18 months and she didn’t recognize me at all which was something of a thrill. My only sex was with Suzy as Simon and I were clearly drifting apart. The renovation on the house was well underway and he told me that in a few more weeks it would be habitable and that we should talk about whether I wanted to live with him or not.

I was now spending my nights when I was with him as some kind of lodger sleeping in the spare room and he often didn’t come back home at all. He was clearly spending more time with Xena and I believed not just as a paying punter and I couldn’t really blame him. I had now met her when they were both going out to dinner together and when not wearing her dominatrix gear I had to admit she looked a million dollars. The dominatrix business obviously paid well and I couldn’t escape thinking that she was a far more suitable companion for Simon than I now was.

After a few weeks of this she told me that one of her two maids was going back to Latvia and that there was an opportunity for a slave like me to clean up and open the door to her punters and asked if I would be interested. Having visited her chambers with Simon in the past I couldn’t think of a logical reason to say no and accepted on the spot. I’d be paid cash, a percentage of her daily takings and any tips that guests gave to me directly I could keep.

I was soon working for her on about three days each week when I’d clean all her toys and rubber outfits between clients and open the door to anyone who came in for an appointment. It was mundane and boring and she insisted that I wore a rubber basque with suspenders to hold up my fishnet stockings but I could at least wear my industrial boots not the sky high stilettos that's he always wore.
My days tended to start at about 10 in time for her first client that would generally turn up at around 11 and I’d stay until close to midnight, so they were long tiring days but they gave me a sense of fulfillment in that I was essentially skivvying for her but was also wearing the clothes that I’d grown to love. My nights would now be split evenly between Simon’s spare room and Suzy’s place and we had become increasingly adventurous in the bedroom as I absorbed knowledge from observing Xena at work and the fact that Suzy had a girlfriend who worked as a dominatrix’s maid seemed to turn her on incredibly. But for all I learned about the depravity and crazy fetishes of some of Xena’s clients I realized that I was being inexorably drawn back to the filth and squalor I'd inhabited in that stinking cellar. Somehow playing these games wasn’t enough. I knew I had a desperate desire to sink lower, maybe lower than ever before.
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Re: Andrea's Downgrading & Degradation (DG)

Postby BigBoy56 » Fri Jan 18, 2019 8:32 am

Wow! how much further can she sink?
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Re: Andrea's Downgrading & Degradation (DG)

Postby garfieldcat » Fri Jan 18, 2019 11:56 am

Another fantastic chapter! Thank you.
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Re: Andrea's Downgrading & Degradation (DG)

Postby Violet-C » Thu Jan 31, 2019 2:17 am

Chapter 11

One day having got into the routine of my new life Simon told me that the house near Dulwich was now finished and that he wanted to tell me that he wanted to move in with Xena. I was informed that both of them had discussed me, as if I was somehow their possession and had agreed that should I want to live as their slave/maid I was welcome to.

I told Simon how disgusted I was at his behavior and that I was nobody’s slave, whatever I’d chosen to have tattooed on my body. It was my body and I would do what I wanted with it.

“You ungrateful bitch” he responded angrily.

“You wanted to live in the gutter, you chose to destroy your looks, you chose a lesbian lover and initially you were quite happy for us to visit Xena as a couple.. I never drove you away from me, you chose to distance yourself from me. Ask yourself is it surprising that I’ve found another lover?”

“No it isn’t” I nervously replied.

“Simon I don't know why I’m doing this to myself but there must be some trauma or something in my past that’s forcing me to destroy myself and with it everything that was good in my life. I can’t explain it and don’t know why but I feel I’ve somehow got further to fall before I can pull myself out of this spiral. Does that make sense?”

“Oh Andrea” “Andie” he quickly corrected himself

“I do still love you and actually I think you’re amazingly sexy with your new hair and clothes, but I’m not sure I can help until you’re ready to help yourself, what do you want to do?”

“I think I’ll see if I can pay Suzy some rent. I can cope with working for Xena but I’m not listening to the two of you having sex each night whilst I sleep next door, is that ok?”

“If that’s what you want” then yes.

The days soon drifted into weeks as I spent my nights with Suzy although I wasn’t really convinced that I was going to spend the rest of my life as a lesbian. We had great sex and she clearly liked me but what I really got from her was the fact that she seemed to accept me warts and all and was caring and supportive whenever I needed that.

Then one day disaster struck. I’d been out shopping on an afternoon off from supporting Xena and got home early. I had thought Suzy was in work when I opened our bedroom door to find her in bed with a gorgeous black girl.

“Oh no, how could you?” I screamed turning round to run out of her flat with her yells of “Andie, Andie please don’t go” ringing in my ears.

I stormed down the street with tears pouring down my face with passers by starting at me not knowing whether they should stop and ask if I was alright or just ignore me thinking I was probably some junkie desperate for a fix.

I walked for miles, I didn’t know what I was doing or where I was going. All I knew was that there was nothing Suzy could say to get me back, our bond of trust had been broken in a way that it had never actually been with Simon as we were both aware and open about the changes our relationship was going through.

I felt so desperately alone and unhappy.

I sat for hours on a park bench trying to get my shit together when I decided I needed to get out of London and it dawned on me that it had probably been almost 10 years since I’d ben back to my old home town of Melrose in the Scottish borders and I’d get on a train and visit my mother’s grave whilst I got my head together for the future.

I found myself a room at cheap hotel for the night and had a ticket booked from Kings Cross to Scotland for the next morning. I’d get the train to Edinburgh and then travel on the recently re-opened borders line to my home town.

I awoke early the next morning after a fitful night’s sleep and dreams of my mother and my Aunt Jane. It seemed so odd that she should have disappeared from my life completely after my mother’s death!

I packed my rubber back pack with some basic toiletries, my phone, spare underwear, T-shirt and tights. That was the beauty of my new image I could look suitable scruffy with ease. I also bought a book to read for the trip up and would pass the rest of the time listening to the grime tracks that I’d downloaded on to my phone. I found my musical tastes changing almost as much as my body had.

I boarded my train looking for my seat in carriage D and when I found it I discovered that I was going to be sitting opposite a quite handsome but fairly shy looking guy of a similar age to myself. The most alarming thing was that in front of him was a copy of “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” and it hadn’t really crossed my mind until then, but the way I looked now, I was probably a pretty good facsimile of the Rooney Mara version od Lisbeth Salander. This could be interesting I thought to myself.

I settled into my seat and couldn’t help bit notice that my travelling companion couldn’t resist nervously looking up at me after reading every few lines. I knew that this was going to be painful if I didn't break the ice, so in a remarkable show of bravery I found myself saying.

“Its ok I’m not Lisbteh Salander and I don't have a tazer with me” As soon as I said it I thought to myself “I bet he hasn’t got to that part yet and my comment won’t make any sense.” So I quickly followed it with “Hi I’m Andie and I’m going up to Edinburgh”

“Me too” he replied with a shocked nervous smile.

“What you’re also called Andy” I joked, no of course not, I’m actually Jamie, Jamie McNeill.

“Hi glad to meet you Jamie” I said stretching out my hand.

He looked very uncomfortable, I couldn’t imagine he’d ever spoken to someone who looked like me before and probably had no idea what to make of me, but for some reason I couldn’t resist making conversation. He looked so normal and everyone else I’d spoken to over the last few months including myself was so very fucked up in their own different ways.

It was quite incredible that in some ways we were so different and in others so alike. I soon discovered that he was training to be a lawyer with one of the big international firms based in London and that he’d actually been to same university as me but was a year younger. Again, he couldn't believe that I was actually older than him. The new image at least seemed to have the benefit of making me look younger.

He was returning home for the weekend to stay with his parents in Edinburgh and then going back down to London on the Sunday night train. I described my borders upbringing and my rare visit north of the border. He said he’s never have guessed I was Scots as I’d lost all trace of my accent whereas he had maintained a subtle soft educated Scottish lilt that I’d always found so appealing. Before we got off I took a smiling photo of him on my i-phone and amazingly he took one of me and told me if I ever wanted to meet up in London to get in touch., texting me his business card. I assumed he was just being polite and if I hadn’t decided to look like someone who’d just escaped from an asylum I’d have actually jumped at the chance of meeting him again.

We spoke non stop and I was almost sorry to have to leave him at Edinburgh Waverley. I saw his parents waving to him lovingly from along the platform. They looked terribly respectable and I was going to walk away not wishing to embarrass him in front of them with my new appearance but actually introduced me to them and said he’s help me see what platform I need for my next rain. The look on his mother’s face was absolutely priceless, but as I walked away I just overheard him saying to her. She must have been so relived that I wasn’t her son’s girlfriend!

“Actually she was really nice and very intelligent”

How sweet of him I thought to myself, feeling genuinely delighted to have met a completely normal person, wondering if we'd ever meet again.

We finally waved goodbye and I waited the 15 minutes for my connecting train

I sat on my next train enjoying the view of the beauty of the line south from Edinburgh towards the borders. I’d never really been a country girl and was delighted to have been able to move to London but looking out across the fields it was easy to understand why so many people chose to live here.

I emerged from the station and wandered towards the churchyard where I knew my mother was buried. If I’d looked a little out of place in Edinburgh I looked like a creature from another planet here. Everyone was so middle class and respectable in their cords and their tweeds and I got some very scornful looks.

I opened the creaky gate to the graveyard and after a few minutes searching found my mother’s headstone with the inscription

“Judith McWilliams, born 30th March 1967 died 20th February 2003 loving wife, daughter and mother: Rest in Eternal Peace:

I had forgotten how young she actually was when you’re only 10 which I was when she dies all adults seem so old but she was only about 6 years older than I was now.

However what suddenly dawned on me as I tried to hold back a few tears was that there were fresh flowers on her grave. I found it hard to believe that my father would have had them placed there when he lived in Spain unless he had very recently visited but I thought that was highly unlikely as he would surely have made some effort to contact me and also I doubt that that bitch of a wife of his would want him coming up here to lay flowers.

I spotted what appeared to be a caretaker across the graveyard cutting back a few dead shrubs and decided to ask if he knew who had been looking after my mother’s grave.

He looked at me rather scornfully as if I was some kind of devil worshipper wandering around his graveyard but when I managed to convince him I was Judith McWilliams’ daughter he became a little more forthcoming.

He told me that an old friend of my mother’s laid flowers every week and she still lived in town. He didn't know the exact address but knew the name of the street and gave me her name as Jane Henderson who he described as being a spinster.

I suddenly experienced one of those light-bulb moments, of course my Aunt Jane! I had almost forgotten about her and completely lost touch after I moved down south. I had absolutely no idea that she still lived in Melrose. I had to go and meet her especially as other than my father she was as my mother’s sister, my 2nd closest living relative.

I made my way back into town looking at google maps on my phone to locate the street which I reckoned was no more than 15 minutes walk away and I trudged along in my heavy Doc Marten’s that now felt so comfortable around my legs.

I entered the street, a small row of detached bungalows with very neat front gardens and spotted an elderly gentleman mowing his lawn.

“Excuse me?” I asked “I’m looking for a relative of mine and I can’t remember the number of her house. Her name is Jane Henderson” I nervously enquired.

“Well you’re just the sort that I’d expect to be looking for that woman” he replied. “She lives in number 15. I hope you’re not staying long, we don’t want people like you around her”

“Thank you” I responded not willing to get dragged into an argument with some narrow minded weird old eccentric but thought despite my unusual appearance that did seem like a particularly strange welcome. I wondered what Jane would be like these days and if we’d remember each other at all.

I nervously walked up the path of the well-maintained front garden of No. 15 and nervously rang the doorbell.

New Chapter 12

The few seconds wait at the front door seemed to last a lifetime when a slightly plump woman with greying hair cut in a very masculine style that suited her jeans and tweed jacket opened the door.

“Is this the same woman” I asked myself. She doesn't look at all as I remembered her.

“Hello are you Jane Henderson” I inquired.

“Yes” she replied smiling warmly “And who may I ask are you””

She had a slight scots accent

“I’m your niece Andrea McWilliam” I announced.

“Good heavens Andrea, well don’t you look interesting, please do come in” and she hugged me warmly, desperately trying to hold back tears and I could feel the same welling up in me . “Do please come in and go through to the kitchen and I’ll make some tea” she announced.

I sat down in her very smart but countrified kitchen with dried flowers hanging up and a large bowl of fruit on the middle of a large pine kitchen table. The wonderfully comforting smell of baking wafted across the room. As she proceeded to make tea a large black and white cat sat on the table in front of me demanding to be stroked.

“Don’t encourage her” Jane commented “or she’ll cover you in fur!”

“Well” she said “This is amazing, I think of you so often and what’s become of you. I imagine you want to know all about me and more about your mother is that the case?”

“Yes please and if you’re my aunt I want to know how I never saw you again until today when I went to live with my grandparents”

“Okey, I can tell you everything. Do you want to hear the complete unvarnished truth, warts and all?”

“I think I do, yes” I responded somewhat hesitatingly, fearing that I may unearth some deeply upsetting trauma from my past.

“Well young lady from that fierce image you’re portraying, it looks to me as though you can handle it and I bet you got some funny looks didn’t you? They’re not used to seeing people who look like you around her. I must admit I admire your independence, at least you don't look exactly like every other girl of your age”

“Thanks” I replied thinking how just 6 months ago I did look exactly as she described and I was only juts coming to terms with my new slightly aggressive image.

She then proceeded to tell me a story that was even more horrific than I could possibly have imagined and much of it must have been buried in my psyche for so long that I’d practically forgotten it all but it did display some of the possible reasons behind my excessive compulsive behaviours.

It turns out that Jane was not my mother’s sister but her lesbian lover. She had fallen out of love with my father soon after I was born and thought of him as a misogynistic bully. She had also thought he might molest me as I got older as he seemed drawn to particularly feminine young girls. This was one of the reasons my mother had encouraged me to play out doors and get messy and generally act as a tomboy because it was something that appalled my father.

My mother had reached a point in her life where she wanted to run away with me and Jane but knew that her parents and her husband would not tolerate it and so she took an overdose and died in her bath. Those dreadful buried memories came flooding back as I found her in the bath. Soon after I went to live with my grandparents as Jane had convinced them that my father couldn’t be trusted with me and that was basically the background to my muddled upbringing.

I sat there open mouthed as the stories poured out of her. I was obviously simply too young to have worked out that my mother was having a lesbian affair and how deep down my desire to be dirty was a way of getting my mother’s love and warding off my father. It suddenly all made sense. My father had wanted a “girly girl” and my mother wanted a boy and so she had encouraged me to get dirty and to do boyish things and I’d gone along with that as a way of winning her affection. So much of my behaviour could be traced back to those times!

Jane was delighted to have met the “adult me” and convinced me to stay a few days for which I was very grateful as I needed time to think over what I was going to do next.

Although I’d had fun with Suzy and she had hurt me greatly by sleeping with someone else I realized that I was not actually upset enough to not get over not seeing her again. It had taught me that experimentation was fun but unlike my mother I wasn’t a lesbian. It became increasingly obvious to me that I was going to return to Simon. The house should be completed by now and I would ask him if I could stay at least for a while until I could move back to my own flat which I had barely ever lived in.

I didn’t think I could return to the relationship I’d previously had with Simon but I still knew that I needed to submit and was drawn to the humiliation that he and possibly Mistress Xena could force upon me.

I phoned Simon and asked if I could come back. Whilst he seemed pleased to speak to me it was obvious to both of us that our relationship had changed irrevocably. He was now in something of a relationship with Xena and she spent much of her time with him. He wanted her to be happy for me to be around. My submissiveness instantly kicked in and I found my self replying that I would do whatever made them both happy.

He rang back shortly and told me that Xena was happy for me to live with them on her terms and that when I arrived she would outline them to me and I could either agree or leave but if I left there would be no going back. If I walked out I would never see either of them again. I willingly accepted and bought myself a ticket to London for the next day.

The following morning wearing my heavy black eye-liner leather jacket and heavy boots I bade my tearful farewell to Jane, not sure if I’d ever see her again and she walked with me to the station. Just over five hours later I found myself walking up the short driveway to the house I’d spent so many tortured hours in looking at the freshly painted windows and mown lawn, my heart pounding wondering what new degradations awaited me..
Violet-C
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Re: Andrea's Downgrading & Degradation (DG)

Postby BigBoy56 » Sat Feb 02, 2019 4:55 am

Can't wait for the next part, get's better and better!
BigBoy56
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